


Philosophy of Fate

by Vthryl



Series: Vthryl's World [6]
Category: Vthryl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:22:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vthryl/pseuds/Vthryl
Summary: Deciding it was time for something new, Em left Los Angeles and was road tripping across the US with nothing but a small number of her belongings, her trusty truck, and herself. Or that’s what she thought it would be but not even a day into her adventure she picked up what appeared to be a hitchhiker. However, as the miles wore on, she learned that her new companion was more than a simple hitchhiker.
Series: Vthryl's World [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2182611
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

_‘It's been a few years, he could have changed.’ ‘It’s not like you have to stay there. Just stop by for a few days to visit.’ ‘Who knows what could happen.’_ My cousin’s voice played in my head on repeat as I drove down some back road. Cool air poured out the vents in my truck trying to overpower the desert heat while music poured from the speakers trying to overpower the sound of the ac. 

I kept one eye on the road and the other on the figure in the distance. As I got closer I realized it was a woman walking alongside the road. This woman wasn’t dressed for hitchhiking and certainly not for the desert. She wore a black tube top and ripped jeans, a black backpack slung over an exposed shoulder. She looked miserable, her skin bright red and slick with sweat. 

Hearing me coming, she had paused, turning and holding out her thumb. I eased on the brake and came to a stop in front of her. I turned down the stereo and unlocked the door for her.

“Oh my god, thank you so much,” the woman said as she climbed into the passenger seat, setting her bag on the floor between her legs.

“No problem. Not like I’m just gonna leave you to roast.” The woman’s face fell. “There’s some water behind you. Help yourself.”

“Are you sure?”

"Yeah. It looks like you need it. Go ahead and have a snack too."

I eased onto the gas and started back on my way. I was glad my aviators were able to hide the glances I took at my new passenger. Despite her state of distress, she was gorgeous. After chugging a whole bottle of water, she started eating a granola bar. I looked her over again and realized she wasn't even wearing any shoes.

“How long have you been out there?”

She shrugged. “A few hours, I guess.”

“Shit. Dressed like that?” Self conscious, the woman folded her arms across her chest. “If you’re not bright red tomorrow, you owe me a drink.”

“Joke’s on you. No cash. So if you’re the kind of person who picks up hitchhikers to rob them, I’m sorry to say that I’m nothing but a disappointment.”

 _That’s not it at all. I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers._ Instead, I said, "So, whatcha doing out here? Did your car break down or something?"

She turned away, looking out the window with another frown. "Oh, um… I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay, I’ll respect that.” I gave her a small, friendly smile, willing her to relax. “My name's Emily, by the way, but you can call me Em."

"Kota."

"So where are you heading Kota?" I asked, testing the name on my tongue. 

“I’m not sure. What about you?”

“Miami.”

Dark eyebrows shot up. “That’s on the other side of the country.”

“Yup. I’m road tripping.”

“Alone?”

“Not anymore,” I said, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“For now at least.” 

She looked down at her backpack with a concerned expression before turning to gaze out the window. Kota didn’t seem to want any more conversation so I let Beastie Boys fill the silence, drumming my thumbs on the steering wheel along to the beat. I didn’t want to pry into a stranger’s business. The smaller woman seemed tired anyway, making abrupt movements every so often in an attempt to fight off sleep.

\-----

When we pulled into a gas station a couple of hours later, Kota slipped from the passenger seat. She stretched her arms above her head, her top riding up revealing a toned stomach. After a moment, I felt her eyes studying me as I climbed out of the driver’s side.

“So, you’re road tripping to Florida… in a truck.” Her words were even, almost not trying to be critical. 

I shrugged, moving my aviators to the top of my head. “This truck is my baby. I’d drive her to hell and back.” My friends had given me enough shit about going cross country in this thing that I wasn’t even offended by Kota’s tone. Grabbing the gas pump, I asked, “Is this where you want me to drop you off?”

“Um, if you don’t mind… maybe the next town? This one doesn’t seem to have much.”

“I don’t mind. I'm not in any hurry. I can take you as far as you need to go if you'd like."

I smiled at her as she walked around the car, joining me on the driver’s side. She tilted her head and I felt her brown eyes boring into me. I tried to fight off a blush, knowing I was failing. Kota was so _close._

“You’ve got beautiful eyes. You’ve been wearing those sunglasses the whole time so I didn’t see them till now.”

I gave up all hope of getting rid of my blush. I even failed at playing it cool. “Uh, thanks. I like yours, too.”

Kota smiled. “I’ll be right back. Restroom.”

I watched as she walked away. I probably looked like an idiot, standing there until I heard the pump stop filling. With a shake of my head, I pulled myself back down to earth.

_The things Summer would say if she saw me now._

\-----

“So… you were just out in the middle of the desert,” I said once we got back on the road. “No food, no water, no sunscreen, no fucking shoes, and no cars for miles. I’m beginning to think you must have fallen from heaven or something.”

Kota rolled her eyes. “Is that supposed to be a pickup line? You gonna tell me I’m an angel or something?”

I clicked my tongue and shook my head. “Nope. Everyone knows that the desert is where everyone sees UFOs and stuff.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I’m an alien?”

“You could be!” I glanced at her, my sunglasses sitting on the dash after her compliment. “Are you here to abduct me?”

Kota was trying to suppress a smile and failing miserably. “You’re the one with the truck, dumbass. If anyone’s getting abducted, it’s probably me.”

“So _I’m_ the alien now,” I turned up the radio as a new song started. “This is my jam!”

Brown eyes lit up in recognition. “American Idiot is your jam?”

“Shhhh!” With a giant smile, I started to sing along, tapping the steering wheel along to the beat. I felt drunk. Between my enjoyment of the song and the way Kota’s laugher filled the cab, I felt like I was on top of the world.

“Welcome to a new kind of tension!” Kota sang as the chorus started. “All across the alien nation.”

I almost missed the next exit. My wide eyes fell on Kota who was giving me a lopsided smile. We finished the song together. It had been a while since I had gotten to goof around like that with Abby. Kota was certainly more in tune than either of us though. For some reason, singing with Kota felt right. We had found a balance for the rest of the song easily, slipping into a duet.

“Wow!” I yelled, laughing. “That was amazing.”

For a split second, Kota’s expression was free. For that second, she wasn’t hiding behind a wall and I could see exhilaration, enthusiasm, adventure. It was fucking _beautiful_.

Smoothly, she slid her features back into that mysterious, somewhat shy default. But it didn’t fool me. I knew what Kota kept inside now. It truly was beautiful.

“You’ve got a good voice,” I said, hoping more than anything to see that openness again.

Kota only shrugged with a small smile. “It could be worse, I guess. American Idiot really isn’t a hard song to sing. _You_ , though, were _screeching_ _._ ”

“Please, it wasn’t that bad! I have to be loud whenever I sing. At least I always did so I could drown out Abby.”

“Who’s Abby?” Kota asked with a tilt of her head.

“Abby’s my little sister. Do you have any siblings?” I wasn’t sure how hitchhiker etiquette worked but I found myself wanting to know more about the stranger in my truck. 

“Only child.”

The finality in her tone made my heart sink. No further questions. _Maybe I did overstep._ I reminded myself that I was nothing but a ride to this person, regardless of how well we got along. I carefully avoided Kota’s eyes but I could feel the brunette looking at me.

After a moment, Kota sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not really good with conversations.” 

I could have pointed that out. _We were talking fine just a few minutes ago. We were laughing but something made you clam up._

“No worries. I’m not really good with it either. I usually end up talking too much.”

“You do seem the type.”

“Wow,” I scoffed with faux disbelief. “I didn’t think aliens were rude.”

Kota smirked with a roll of her eyes.

\-----

As the sun began to set, I was less and less sure about where I stood with Kota. We weren’t passing through any major cities and I could tell the smaller woman was becoming more agitated. 

_She really isn’t a hitchhiker. Somehow, she must have been dropped into it and has no idea what she is doing._ I could feel the fear radiate off of her as she scanned every sign we passed, the gears in her head working hard.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” she admitted at last, not looking at me. She stared out the window, off into the horizon. “I just… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know anyone.”

I chewed my lip. “Do you… Do you have any friends? Family?”

Kota didn’t respond. She just stared out the window, her jaw set. Her eyelids hung heavy and I noticed the random jerky movements she made time to time, fighting off sleep. 

“Do… Do you want to keep riding with me?”

Kota’s head snapped to me. “I’m not asking that.”

“Are you going to go back to walking barefoot through the desert, then?” I asked, trying to keep my voice amused despite how I truly felt. “I don’t mind.” I paused for a moment. “I was actually going to pull over in the next town. I need to stop at Walmart, then I’m gonna get a room for the night. I’m pretty tired.”

None of what I said was true. My parents had given me some money for motels but I was happy to sleep in my truck. It was cheaper and less of a hassle, but Kota was practically oozing with anxiety. After the hours I had spent with the brunette, I could tell she needed someone to take care of her. I had also sensed Kota’s pride and I needed to tread carefully.

“I don’t mind sharing a room.” I tried to keep my tone casual. “It’s just as cheap to get two beds and I’m pretty sure you won’t kill me in my sleep.” I winked. “You’ve had hours to do that already.”

Kota’s face remained neutral but her shoulders relaxed some. “I don’t want to impose.”

“It’s not imposing if I offered.”

“I’ll come up with a plan tomorrow,” Kota insisted.

I nodded. “Of course.”

\-----

Kota didn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the drive. It saddened me but I didn’t push. The situation was too delicate. Kota might as well have been made of glass, one hard tap and she’d shatter. Instead, she busied herself by digging through her backpack. I caught a glimpse of a laptop as she pulled out a thin wallet and started rifling through the several different cards that were inside. I feigned disinterest.

“You wanna come in?” I asked as I parked.

Walmarts in any part of the world were rather gloomy but it was pretty obvious that this one was the lifeblood of this small town. Though it was small by Walmart standards, it was pretty busy. I didn’t actually need anything, but I could make myself look busy. It was only a facade to grab a few travel sized essentials that Kota might need. _And some fucking aloe._ I winced at the sight of her bare shoulders. Small blisters were already starting to form on her skin.

“I’ll come. Maybe _one_ of my cards hasn’t been closed.” 

Her voice was like acid before she looked at me with a grimace as if she said something she shouldn’t have. I didn’t ask. 

While Kota darted off to an ATM, I ambled down the aisles, leaning over the cart. As I walked, I dropped items into my cart. Disposable razors (which I needed), hand lotion, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant. _What else am I supposed to get someone who has next to nothing at the moment?_ Aloe, sunscreen, ibuprofen. _Kota’s gonna be hurting in the morning._ I’ve gotten blisters before so I knew from experience what she was in for.

“What’re you doing?”

I looked up from reading the back of the aloe bottle. “Shopping. Any luck?”

“I think he forgot this account existed. There isn’t much left in it but it’s enough to get a change of clothes and a pair of shoes.” She held up a dark blue t-shirt, a pack of underwear, a pack of socks, and a pair of cheap van knock offs. “Not the best but they’ll get the job done.”

“Hey, I couldn’t care less. You could wear pajamas all day and I wouldn’t care.” 

I offered her a smile to hide the cloud forming in my mind. _Someone closed her cards._ I had started putting together a rather sinister picture. Someone was in control of whatever money Kota had and I was willing to bet that same person had something to do with dropping her off in the desert with no phone, food, water, or shoes.

“What’s that?” Kota asked as I set the aloe in the cart.

“Aloe. Not sure if you’ve noticed but you’re really sunburned.”

She shrugged and looked away. “I’ll be okay. You don’t need to get that.”

I rolled my eyes. “In the morning you’re going to sacrifice a live animal in thanks that I got it.”

“Fine. I can pay for it then. And…” Brown eyes narrowed, taking stock of everything in my cart. “No. I’ve got this.”

I folded my arms. “Do you? Last I heard, someone closed your cards. Sure, you could pay for this, then what?”

“I’ve got this,” Kota said, her voice so low it was almost a growl.

“Seriously. Don’t worry about it. This isn’t even twenty bucks. Tell you what though, when you get wherever the hell you’re going, you can Venmo it to me or something. You can buy your own clothes if you want, but I’ve got this.”

I felt an unexplainable rush seeing the fiery glint in Kota’s eyes. It was actually reassuring to see such a look of venom from her. _Whatever she’s had to deal with hasn’t broken her._

“Fine. I’ll meet you at the truck.”

I had a moment of doubt after she left me standing there. _Had I pushed too hard? It’s not like I have a choice. She probably can’t afford any of this. But … I probably should have asked first._ There certainly was a lot I hadn’t thought through when it came to Kota. I could only hope I hadn’t messed up whatever relationship we were trying to make. With a sigh, I headed towards the checkout.

When I got back to the truck, she was already there, hands shoved in the pockets of her jeans.

“I’m sorry,” she said before I could even open my mouth.

“It’s okay. Really. I should have asked first.”

I tossed the bag into the bed of the truck before turning my attention to her. The other woman looked fidgety.

“I just… I’ve had… people doing things for me for so long that… I don’t know.”

She shook her head and I stepped closer. I wanted to touch her shoulder, to comfort her, but I didn’t want to upset the mess of raw skin or whatever personal sensitivities she had. It seemed I had already done that once.

“I want to help,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Kota shook her head again. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I just… I just hate being so… so helpless or whatever.” She took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. “I got into an argument with my boyfriend. We were heading to LA and he was just… being a jerk. He stopped the car and made me get out. It’s not the first time he did that but it was the first time he never came back for me.”

My stomach turned. “He just… _ditched_ you? In the fucking _desert_?”

“He always came back.” Her voice was quiet. “I didn’t think he would really leave me. He’s done this to me before if he wanted me to think about something or if he was mad. I didn’t think he would have left me for dead. He’s an ass, but not a…”

“A murderer?” I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how someone could be so cruel. 

“I was just so used to it.” Kota wasn’t even looking at me anymore, instead, she stared over my shoulder with her eyes glazed over. “It’s probably for the best he did this. I don’t think I could ever have left on my own.”

I could only stare. I didn’t know what to expect from this woman when I picked her up this afternoon. I could understand that she had essentially been left to roast on the side of the road. I never would have expected that Kota would take her own victory of finally being away from him and give him the credit.

“Shit,” I breathed. “I hope he fucking rots.”

“So, yeah. I have issues, I guess.” She forced a laugh.

I reached out but withdrew it before touching her. Instead, I ran my fingers through my messy blonde hair. Kota watched the movement intently. 

“No,” I said. “Nobody can blame you for that. I sure as hell don’t.” I paused for a moment. “I’m not like that. I’m not here to tell you what to do, or what to buy, or how to think. Everyone has a right to do what they want. You too, Kota.”

“Thank you,” she replied, looking down. 

“If… if you want, or need to, you can come as far as you want with me.” 

I was tripping over my words but I didn’t care. I didn’t want Kota to feel like a burden. If I said it first, if I planted the idea in her head, maybe she wouldn’t feel as much shame.

“Maybe.”

I kicked some of the loose gravel before leaning against the truck. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” I said after a long silence.

She frowned. “I didn’t tell you any of this for your pity. I just… I get defensive, I guess. And I don’t want it to freak you out.”

“You’re not gonna freak me out. I’m not a… I don’t know. Whatever shit you’ve been through… none of it’s gonna scare me off.”

“I didn’t say-”

“I know you didn’t. Just… Nothing you do could freak me out, okay? I understand defensiveness, especially if you’ve dealt with something like this.” Even though Kota said nothing, it wasn’t hard to assume the other ways this supposed boyfriend mistreated her. It made my blood boil, but I gave my best smile. “I’m not going to dump you on the side of the road. Stay with me as long as you need to. It sure beats traveling alone.”

She stared at me for a moment, her gaze changing from suspicious to calm. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“Shit, Kota. I don’t want you to feel like there’s no choice. You always have a choice. If you want, I could take you to a bus station or something. I’m not in any hurry so-”

“No. I get it. I just don’t want to burden you with this. I don’t want to burden anyone.”

“You’re not burdening me. As I said, I’m not in any hurry. Having you around isn’t costing me any more money. I’m not gonna drag you out to the desert and chop you up with a chainsaw.”

A small chuckle escaped the brunette. “I was definitely getting chainsaw vibes from you.”

“Nah, I’m more into meathooks or something.”

“Or something?”

“Use your imagination.”

She shook her head as we both laughed. It was like none of what we talked about happened and everything was as easy as it had been when we were singing about television dreams of tomorrow. It was an ease that made me think, _Fuck it._

“Can I give you a hug?”

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Why?”

“There doesn’t need to be a why to hugs. It does look like you could use one though.”

She tilted her head to the side and different emotions fluttered across her face. Finally, she met my gaze. “Okay.”

Aware of the sunburn, I wrapped my arms underneath Kota’s, making sure not to touch the cooked skin. At first, she didn’t seem to know how to react, hovering her arms over my back before carefully settling them down. I wondered how often she’d been on the receiving end of a friendly hug. After a few seconds, she relaxed and I was surprised by how smoothly she fit against me and how comfortable she seemed there. I closed my eyes, trying to convince myself that this shouldn’t feel as right as it did.

Even though I could have held her all night, she was too self-conscious to remain there, so I let her go. She didn’t look at me as she opened the truck door. She didn’t even say anything as she climbed in. I didn’t mind. There was a lot of hurt in Kota. But there was still hope in her, too.

\-----

We made it to a hotel about a half hour later, bags of Mcdonald’s in hand. Kota had insisted on buying her own meal and I didn’t object. _If these little bits of control are what she needs right now then why should I fight it?_ I couldn’t imagine what it was like not being in control of your own finances so it was important for her to find that control again. I could only hope that by the time her money ran out, she would trust me enough to help with purchases. In the meantime, there were other ways I could help.

“No, that’s a new shirt. Don’t sleep in that,” I protested after Kota came out of the shower in her new shirt and her jeans.

“I thought you said it didn’t matter what I wear?” Her tone was full of amusement.

I rolled my eyes as I dug through my bag. “You’ll need a baggier shirt for the first couple of nights because of your sunburn. How’d the shower feel on it?”

She grimaced. “It was worse on my shoulders.”

“You’re blistering already. Tomorrow isn’t going to feel good, so that’s why I grabbed the aloe. You might want to put some on tonight. And if any of those blisters pop you don’t want that to happen on your new shirt.” I pulled out an oversized shirt and tossed it to her.

“You’d rather it happen on yours?”

I shrugged. “Plus, something that’s tight on the skin isn’t gonna help either. I wouldn’t recommend wearing the top you had on or even your bra. One summer my uncle took me and my cousins to the beach and he kind of forgot about sunscreen. The next day we all had blisters the size of grapes on our shoulders and we were in agony for a week.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Welp, my turn in the shower. Don’t trash the room while I’m in there.” 

“Damn,” she muttered. “There go my plans for the evening.”

“At least wait until I can join in.” I winked.

Kota rolled her eyes before turning towards her bed with a determined look and a fire in her eyes. 

Usually, showering was relaxing for me, but not tonight. My thoughts kept going back to the beautiful hitchhiker and all the weird circumstances that had aligned for us to meet. I had almost taken one of the interstates. _If I had, who knows what would have happened to her._

I thought I had gotten my brain under control by the time I finished brushing my teeth but then I stepped out of the bathroom to find Kota sitting on her bed, laptop opened and the contents of her backpack spread around her. _She truly is gorgeous._ Intelligent brown eyes peered through the black frames of her glasses as her fingers flew across the keyboard of her laptop. After a few minutes, she finished typing and flopped backward onto the bed. With a groan, she ran her hands through her chocolate hair, this movement allowing the shirt to ride up and I got another glimpse of her toned stomach. 

I broke from my stupor and I walked over to my suitcase. "Are you good?"

With another groan, she spoke, "Yeah. I started to come up with a plan, I guess, so I’m seeing how plausible it is.” Her tone turned astute. “I just emailed my boss regarding my pay and bank account. Given the time, I probably won't get a response until the morning. At some point, I should also contact my landlord and see if he can do something before Trystan gets back."

"Okay." I walked around and took a seat on the side of my bed closest to hers. Questions filled my head but I didn’t want to overstep anymore. "Is that all your stuff?"

"A laptop, a wallet with one open debit card, a sketchbook, a pencil, a pair of headphones, and a case for my glasses." 

"How about you put some aloe on and try to get some rest? I can tell you're tired. We can figure it out in the morning okay?"

"I suppose." 

I watched as she returned the items to her backpack before handing her the aloe vera. After she applied it, she curled up in her bed and was out like a light. I turned the lights off then plopped down onto my own bed. I glanced over at the smaller woman, watching the blanket rise and fall with her breathing. 

_You’re safe now, Kota. He’ll never hurt you again so long as I can help it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> American Idiot - Green Day


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up, I didn’t feel rested at all. Even in my dreams, I’d been haunted by intelligent brown eyes. Running a hand through my messy hair, I looked over at Kota’s bed. I blinked as it took a moment for my brain to put the pieces together. She was sitting up, pulling desperately at her shirt. _My shirt._

“Are you okay?” I asked sleepily as I grabbed my phone to check the time. It wasn’t even seven in the morning. 

“I think I’m dying,” she groaned. “I can’t lift my arms.”

 _Right, sunburn._ I sat up, trying to wake up through willpower alone. “Anything I can do?”

“Help me with this shirt.”

Kota managed to pull her arms through the sleeves, but couldn’t lift it over her head. I was at her side in an instant. Modesty was abandoned in the face of pain though she did maintain enough to cover her front with the blanket while I pulled the shirt over her head. I winced at her bright red shoulders. I brushed one lightly with a fingertip and I felt the heat radiating from the skin. The blisters were small at least.

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Kota said, her voice strained. “Like I said, I think I’m dying.”

“That might be a little dramatic, but damn. Do you need help putting some aloe on?”

“Please.”

The lack of a fight was proof of how much it must have hurt. Slowly, not to disturb the flesh any more than necessary, I spread the gel across her shoulders. The brunette stiffened at the touch, though I couldn’t tell if it was because of the burn or my unfamiliar hands.

“If you were a steak, you’d be medium-rare,” I said, trying to give her a distraction.

“So now I’m a steak,” Kota said through gritted teeth, but she let out a long exhale as the cool gel offered some relief.

“Or maybe a pork chop.”

“Really?”

“What’s wrong with pork chops?” I asked with a grin.

“They’re not kosher.”

“Are you Jewish?”

“No, but I could have been and you might have offended me.”

I shook my head as my smile widened. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but I’m not a pork chop.”

“Right, you’re an alien.”

Kota scoffed and I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. 

As I finished, she leaned forward, burying her face in the blanket. I couldn’t help but appreciate the smoothness of her unburned back, her tan skin bearing the occasional freckle. Realizing what I was doing, I got to my feet and hurried to the bathroom to wash my hands, my face burning.

“So, what’s the verdict? Are you dying today?” I asked once I was back in the room. 

She turned to look at me and I was dismayed to see how red her face was, and how chapped her lips were. “I’m not ruling it out.”

“Forget steaks and pork chops. Kota, you’re a fucking lobster.”

She turned her face back to the blankets, moving her arm just enough to flip me off. I chuckled. _I guess she won’t die today after all._ I went over to my suitcase and pulled out another oversized t-shirt. I helped ease it over her head and guide her arms through the sleeves, adverting my eyes when necessary. 

“There’s another thing I want to go get,” I said as I smoothed the shirt down her back. “It’s a spray that’ll help.”

“Let’s go,” Kota groaned, moving to get out of bed.

I held up a hand to stop her. “I’ll get it. You can stay here. I’ll even grab some breakfast. You just sleep a little more, okay? We’ve got a while before checkout.”

“Then why don’t we just wait to get it?”

I knew I wasn’t going to go back to sleep after this so I shrugged. “I’m an early riser. Are you okay waiting here?”

“Is this just an excuse to leave me with the bill?” I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Her voice was still too uneven with fatigue and discomfort.

“No.” I flinched as it came out harsher than I meant. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole but I don’t… I don’t leave people.”

I got up rather suddenly and moved to the coffee pot. As I started up the machine I heard blankets rustle behind me as Kota moved.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked softly.

“No. Just… just know I’m a better person than that.”

_Am I though?_

\-----

I hadn’t been gone long and when I got back I found Kota sitting on her bed with her laptop in front of her, much like last night.

“You did come back,” she remarked looking up at me, her eyes shining through her glasses.

“I always try. How are you feeling now?”

“Not like death, but it still sucks.” She ran a hand through her already messy hair. “What time are we leaving?”

“At checkout. We’re gonna get our money’s worth for this room, dammit!” 

Kota’s laugh was all I needed to truly relax. As I told her last night, I wasn’t in any hurry. _It’s not like I need to get back to Miami to start a new job or anything._

My phone buzzed and I pulled it from my pocket.

_Abby 7:39 am > where r u today?????? _

I rolled my eyes. Abby checked in with me several times a day as if it would make me get there faster. I hadn’t told my sister outright that I was taking it slow and Abby didn’t seem to notice or care. As long as progress was being made was enough for her it seemed.

I went to type _still in hell_ but paused. I looked over at the woman who was staring intently at her laptop. 

To Abby 7:42 am > Still in the desert

_Abby 7:42 am > which state????? _

To Abby 7:43 > Arizona

“So, have you heard back from your boss?” I asked as I took a seat on my bed.

“Oh, yeah. She emailed me back this morning.”

“That’s good. How’d that go? Is she giving you an advance on your paycheck?”

Kota adjusted her glasses. “She offered but I declined. It wouldn’t do me much good.” I quirked an eyebrow at her. “I realized I had three options for part of my money dilemma. I get paid this Friday and it would have gone to the main account Trystan and I share. The problem is I don’t have access to it while he does and he has no issue spending _my_ money. Now I could have her send it to the account I still have a card for but Trystan would notice that the money didn’t go to the usual account and check the others. If he finds it in this other account then he’ll close my card for that one too. Instead, I’m having it sent to an account I haven’t used since my first year of college. This way Trystan won’t have access to it. But, since I haven’t used it in years, I don’t have a card so I won’t be able to access it either.”

She groaned while I nodded my head. “So rather than risk your ass of an ex spending your money or closing the only card you have, you’re putting the money away where he can’t get it. Makes sense to me.”

“Okay. I was starting to think I made a bad decision.”

“I think it’s smart. I never would have thought of it.” Kota gave me a small smile. “So, any other plans?”

“At the moment, no. There are still some factors I need to figure out. Theoretically, it shouldn’t be too hard. Realistically though…”

“You’ve got this. I’ll help however I can.”

She gave me a grateful smile and I felt something flutter in my chest. 

\-----

When we loaded up the truck, Kota was sleepy enough to nod off again while I navigated the small town. The plan was to keep heading east. At first, I stuck to the interstate but, after a while, I grew bored. I preferred to explore the backcountry. _You never know what little gems you will find in the backcountry._ I gave Kota’s sleeping form a quick glance and felt a small smile sprout on my face.

I turned back to the road, softly singing along to Dave Matthews Band. “Tied to me tight, tie me up again. Who's got their claws in you my friend? Into your heart I'll beat again.”

\-----

“I don’t think it’s real,” Kota said as she peered through the cloudy glass of the sarcophagus before us.

She had slept most of the morning, but curiosity had gotten the better of her too when all the billboards we passed proclaimed that The Thing was off exit 342. Something about it being the ‘Mystery of the Desert.’ _Kota is probably better suited for that title._

“Why not?”

“Isn’t it illegal to display dead bodies to the public?”

“If it’s a mummy, then it’s no different than any museum or oddity place or whatever.”

“I still think it’s fake.”

We both stared at the strange body. I had always been a sucker for tourist attractions, so it was no surprise that this one caught me. I chatted her ear off about what The Thing could be since the poor woman opened her eyes. Finding out it was a mummy, probably of some poor soul in the 1800s, had been disappointing.

What was nice, though, was being able to walk through the gas station/museum with Kota at my side. I forgot how fun it was to have someone to make lame jokes with about the exhibits. She also helped me show restraint when it came to souvenirs. 

“Would you even wear it?” she asked as I started to reach for a shirt.

I stopped then smiled sheepishly. “They’re pretty catchy and people will want to know all about it!”

“So you want strangers to come up to you and ask about The Thing on your shirt? Would you really wish that for yourself?”

“Ugh, maybe not.” I wrinkled my nose and put the shirt back. I liked the red one but the idea of explaining this roadside attraction to people did seem like a headache. “I really thought there’s be more, like… I don’t know. Maybe aliens.”

“Hey, you’ve already found an alien.”

My heart skipped when Kota winked. I had been worried when she slept through the morning. I didn’t expect her to feel great, given the sunburns and the emotional distress of yesterday, but I didn’t expect her to sleep so long. Behind my sunglasses, I kept casting anxious glances at my passenger. I was relieved when she had woken up for lunch with no problems. She was clearly stiff and sore but seemed well enough. Even though I needed to help apply the spray to her shoulders, she had just about come back to life.

In the end, I settled on a postcard for Abby and a keychain. I turned to ask if Kota wanted any souvenirs, but she had already wandered off. When we met back at the truck, I also had a cup of coffee in hand.

“Doesn’t drinking so much coffee give you heartburn?” she asked.

“I think I’m immune to it. Would you like some?”

“I think I’m good.”

Under the safety of my dark lenses, I watched as she settled herself in the truck, moving carefully to not put too much stress on the sunburn. Considering everything, she had gotten off light. Her shoulders were the worst and her feet were also a mess. I had completely forgotten that she had been trudging over hot dirt and rocks with no shoes on and she had managed to hide her feet from my view until she tried putting her new shoes on this morning. _She’s tough. I’ll give her that._

“Are you sure I’m not bothering you at all?” Kota asked as we got back onto the interstate.

“Not at all.” It was the third time she asked that question today. “I don’t usually get to drive with other people so it’s a nice change.”

“Do you take road trips often?”

“Sorta. Usually not this big though. How about you?”

“I’ve only been on a few small road trips home and back.”

“So pretty much all of this is new for you. That’s kinda cool.” 

She gave a small nod. “You’re not very good with small talk are you?”

 _Not with you._ “Well, I don’t know what to ask you. You’re not exactly forthcoming, yourself.”

She looked down at her backpack. “Sorry.”

“I’m not criticizing. It’s alright if you don’t want to talk.”

“I don’t mind. Talking to you at least.” Kota’s words tumbled from her mouth as if she’d been trying to hold them back. She wouldn’t look in my direction. She was embarrassed and it was fucking adorable.

There was a moment or two where I could see her lips moving silently, trying to think of something to say. I was grateful for my sunglasses as my eyes bounced back and forth between the road and the brunette as if I was watching a ping pong match. I nearly swerved when I spent too long staring at the way Kota was chewing her lip.

“I grew up in Oklahoma City. I moved to Dallas for college and ended up staying for my job. Tr- my ex talked me into taking some time off from work and going to California with him. He decided we should drive so he could get some content for his vlog and stuff...” she seemed to lose her train of thought as she stared out the window.

“So, it sounds like you have a pretty cool boss.” She snapped back to attention. “What do you do? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Oh, I work at a tech company as a software programmer.” Something in her eyes sparkled as she said that last word.

“Really? You must be good with computers then. That’s so cool.”

“Yeah, it’s not bad.”

“Do you know different languages?”

Her smile grew. “I know python, java, C++, C#.”

I had no clue what she was talking about but a new confidence filled her voice. “Wow. That sounds impressive.”

“Thanks. I’ve always been good with that kind of stuff so I figured why not stick with it. I majored in computer science and during my sophomore year of college, the company I work for took an interest in me. I signed a contract with them where they’d pay for the rest of my schooling if I’d work for them for five years. I still have a few years left for my contract but I love it there. I’m the youngest on my team but everyone turns to me when they need help with a bug or figuring out how to set it up.” Her expression was so free but it only took a moment for it to fall. “Sorry. I get carried away sometimes. Did you go to college?”

 _Why’d she shut down? She looked so happy and damn is she smart._ My eyebrows creased as I watched the road. “Yeah, I studied philosophy. It’s not worth much but I thought it was cool.”

“Do you believe in fate then or free will?”

“Do you know what compatibilism is?” She shook her head. “Compatibilism is the theory that we can be both caused and free. Say you’re given two options, like whether you’ll get a bag of chips or a chocolate bar. Suppose you decided you want the chips so you go and get them and don’t even bother with the chocolate bar. You made that decision so you were free. Now suppose you decided you want the chocolate bar. You go to the aisle but you don’t find any so instead, you have to get the chips. You didn’t make the decision so it was not free.”

“So even though I was able to choose in the end I only could have gotten the one?”

“Yeah. Basically, regardless of whatever you choose only the one thing could happen and if you chose that thing then it’s free will otherwise you can try to choose the other thing but it won’t happen. Does that make sense?”

She scrunched her nose as she tilted her head in thought. “Yeah, that’s logical.” Kota nodded her head. “So, why are you going to Miami?”

“My sister just graduated college and I haven’t seen her for a while. About a year I think. I wasn’t able to leave my old job in time for the graduation but I still want to see her. My dad too.”

The last part was harder to admit. There were too many memories of slammed doors and unkind words. I wasn’t sure if it would be possible to patch things up, but for Abby’s sake, I’d give it a try.

“You sound sad,” Kota commented, her tone soft.

“Nah.” I waved my hand. “It’s just been a while.”

“Right.” I could feel eyes on me as she scanned me. “For what it’s worth… I don’t have the best relationship with my parents either.”

I glanced over to her, unsettled when the other woman met my eyes through the glasses. “Oh?”

“My dad’s a bit of an alcoholic and my mom was too busy working or fucking whatever guy she was calling her boyfriend at the time. She still did her best to raise me though and I visit from time to time but you can tell she would have been better off without me.”

Kota shrugged and I snuck another glance at her, still facing the road. I watched as her mouth twitched.

“I know you’re looking at me. I know you’ve _been_ looking at me.” Her voice was still soft with a hint of amusement. 

I felt every drop of blood rush to my face as I stammered, “I… I…”

“You’re lenses aren’t _that_ dark.” She laughed, her smile wide. “You’re almost as red as I am.”

“Dammit,” I muttered, having no problem keeping my eyes on the road now.

“It’s okay,” she giggled, sending a chill up my spine. “It’s… It’s kinda cute.”

I groaned as I felt my stomach flop. I’ve never had a social interaction feel like this. I loved people. I was great at talking. But _this…_ This was different.

“What do… what do _you_ think about fate?” My mouth was dry but I felt the need to speak.

Kota hummed in thought. “Well, at first I thought it was stupid. Stupid that you wouldn’t have a choice in what happens.”

“And now?”

“And now…I’m starting to think that some things are always meant to be.” She turned to gaze out the window again, chewing her bottom lip. “I hardly saw any cars yesterday before you showed up. I didn’t think _anyone_ was going to come or if anyone would stop for me if they did. I was scared I’d have to blow some creepy truck driver for a ride to the next town or be murdered. But… there was _you._ ”

I remembered how quickly she was able to make herself comfortable around me. My heart was pounding and I had no idea why.

“And…” she continued, “you were nice. More than you needed to be. More than I would expect from anyone.”

I opened my mouth but no words came out. _What am I supposed to say?_

“I should have been buzzard food. But there… there was you. You with your fucking aviators and your Beastie Boys and television dreams.”

I had never seen Kota so worked up. Even last night, when she’d been angry, her voice had never risen so sharply. I couldn’t keep driving. Not with this. I put on my blinker and pulled over to the shoulder, pulling my sunglasses off so I could look her in the eye without any distractions.

Those brown eyes were wild as she looked out the windshield. I hadn’t realized how much restraint she used nor how delicate the poise she hid behind was. It was all gone, and I saw that _this_ was Kota. _This_ was the beautiful woman who sung with me yesterday. I had meant to say something, _anything,_ when I pulled the truck over, but I was still stuck without words.

“I just… I don’t understand.” She swallowed and gave her head the tiniest of shakes. “How did all of this just… _happen_? All at once? None of this is logical.”

“Maybe it doesn’t need to be.” She turned to look at me. “I… I’ve been wondering the same thing. I thought I was crazy.”

Kota gave a small sigh of relief and gave a lopsided smile. “The jury’s still out on that one, Em.”

 _Gods, I love the way she says my name._ We stared at each other for a moment longer, me trying to find answers in the depths of those eyes. I wished I knew what Kota was looking for in my own. Of course, I couldn’t find any. None that I could be sure of anyway. The softness in hers could have meant anything.

“So… now what?” I asked.

Kota frowned before shrugging. “I have no idea.”

 _Maybe it means nothing,_ I tried to tell my heart, even as it kept thumping its protests. I pulled my shades back on and put my blinker on. “I guess that means I’ll keep driving.”

\-----

As the afternoon wore on, I was a little disappointed by the lack of tourist traps or attractions. I did insist on stopping at several souvenir shops, to Kota’s dismay. I got another postcard for Abby and flicked through the keychains on one of the rotating displays.

“You have, like, five hundred keychains already,” she pointed out. 

“And they’re all meaningful!”

“Em, I don’t think anymore can fit on your keyring.” She pointed to the keyring in question which hung from a carabiner off my belt loop. 

Maybe there were too many keychains. It was difficult to find my key amid the metals, plastics, and colors when I was drunk. A plastic Bumblebee from Transformers, a Lego Mickey Mouse, a rainbow flag heart, a fuzzy Pikachu, a t-rex.

“These are just my favorite ones. I keep the rest on a few other keyrings in my glovebox. Some people like to collect magnets of where they’ve been but I like keychains.”

“Okay then.” Kota shrugged and wandered off again to look at something.

I thought for a moment about getting another cup of coffee but decided against it. Too much coffee too late in the day would mean it make it hard to go to sleep and I didn’t want to mess up my rhythm too badly. Normally I would drive for as long as possible, sleep for a few hours, then drive some more. Traveling with Kota was a little more complicated. Her body was already under stress and screwing up her sleeping cycle wouldn’t help at all. Not that I minded the idea of sharing a hotel room again, though.

A light breeze was blowing as we walked back to the truck. I closed my eyes, enjoying the cool air. Breezes like this were rare in the desert and I savored every one I caught. I shook my hair out, enjoying the way it blew it just enough. When I opened my eyes, I found Kota watching me.

“Like the view?” I asked, grinning. 

Her smile was small, mysterious, and I ignored the flutter in my chest. “Yes.”

I blinked as she opened the truck door, too surprised to respond. I walked around the truck, my thoughts running rampant. _Was she joking? If she was then why didn’t she laugh?_ There was too much potential for meaning in that single word, and it drove me crazy.

“So, are you going to stay in Miami?” Kota asked when I got back behind the wheel. 

_Of course, she wouldn’t give me a chance to respond to what she said outside._ “I don’t know. It’s not bad there but I’m not sure it’s really for me. Los Angeles either.”

“Huh.” She tilted her head as she stared down at her backpack and I could practically hear the gears turning. 

Now that the sun was on the other side of the sky, I didn’t need my sunglasses. Not like they helped protect me from Kota anyway. So I turned the volume up and hit shuffle on one of my folders on my thumb drive. When I recognized the starting drum beats, I skipped it.

“What’s wrong with Roll to Me?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Nothing. I’m just not feeling it right now I guess.”

She hummed. “I saw you have a guitar.” She pointed at the case tucked behind her. 

“Oh, yeah. I play a little. My cousin and I learned a bit but she’s way better.”

“Maybe you can show me at some point. Maybe you can redeem yourself for sounding like a dying elephant yesterday.”

I scoffed. “Game fucking on.”

\-----

My plan was to try and make it to Del Norte that night but my last cup of coffee worn off a little after the sun had set. I was fighting off yawns so often that it got to a point I couldn’t even hold a conversation with Kota. 

“Do you need to pull over?” the brunette asked.

I sighed. “It’s only an hour till Del Norte.”

“But you look ready to crash, literally _and_ figuratively. There’s an exit coming up. Just take a nap for a bit.”

With another yawn, I turned on my blinker. “I knew I should’ve gotten another coffee at the gas station.”

“Then you would have been up all night. We can get to Del Norte later.”

“I don’t want to keep yoooooou up,” I tried to say, fighting the yawn the interrupted me.

 _I should have gotten that coffee._ Coffee wasn’t just my alertness, but also my armor. It was hard enough to keep my head on straight with Kota around even with caffeine in my system. The lack of coffee was making me slip. The amused twinkle in her eyes as I pulled into a Burger King parking lot made me wonder if she suspected any of that.

“I don’t mind. It’s not like I have anywhere to be.”

 _Just with me._ I groaned. Coffee would have helped control stupid ideas like that. “No more than an hour. Turn the truck on if it gets too hot. I’ve got some games on my phone if you want to play any. No password.”

“That’s pretty trusting.”

“Well, I’ve never felt the need for a password since I’ve gotten that phone. It’s just been me and my cousin and she’s chill.” With the conversation over, I clunked my head against the door and closed my eyes.

“Wait.”

I opened one eye back up. “Yeah?”

“Would… wouldn’t it be more comfortable for you to lie down?”

I opened my other eye and turned my head to her. “What do you mean?”

“You could stretch out more if you lay down. It’s a bench seat so why not use it?”

Over the years I’ve owned this truck, I’ve slept on the bench seat often enough. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but it was familiar. 

I frowned at her. “It’s fine. I don’t want you to have to move.”

“I don’t have to.” She looked at me evenly. “I don’t mind being a pillow.”

 _I really should have gotten that coffee._ “I… No. I can’t do that.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’d rather sleep sitting up?” She chuckled at my silence. “You don’t have to, but it might be more comfortable.”

 _Yes. No. Yes. No._ I stared, confused, not sure if there was a correct answer. Kota just watched, unfazed.

“It’s not imposing if I offer,” she added with a knowing smile before holding out a hand.

I didn’t have a choice with me being under a spell. I took her hand. She put a gentle pressure on my shoulder while I picked my feet off the floor, easing me down. She pulled my head onto her lap and I felt like I was in another world. I was aware of the way my blood pounded through my body, surprised that Kota couldn’t hear it with how loud it was.

“You… your leg’s gonna fall asleep,” I managed to say.

She shrugged. “I’ll move you if it gets bad.”

“And this isn’t too-”

“No.” I closed my eyes, hardly daring to breathe as her hand slid down my arm. “Em, you’re fine. Just relax.”

The movement of Kota’s hand going up and down my arm was so steady. It soothed my tense muscles and I found myself drifting off, wondering if I was already dreaming. _It feels too right to be real._

\-----

I woke up on my own, still curled up on the bench with the head buried in Kota’s lap. I grunted as I turned my head. Her eyes were closed, her head resting against the door and one hand on my side. Again, I had no clue how to breathe. Kota was so beautiful in the moonlight.

“Morning, sunshine,” she said in a low voice as she opened her eyes. 

When our eyes met, I had to look away, instead, reaching for my phone in the cupholder. “Is it morning?”

It wasn’t morning, but I had slept for a couple of hours. With another groan, I sat up, pulling myself out of her lap slowly enough not to irritate her sunburn.

“I think you drooled on my leg,” she said with more amusement in her tone. I felt my cheeks heat up as I watched her stretch her legs, wincing in pain. “Shit. Foot’s asleep.”

“Told you it would,” I mumbled, wiping my mouth. _I had been drooling!_ “Sorry about the drool.”

She chuckled. “It’s okay.”

As she dealt with her leg, I tried to replay the events that had happened after I pulled over. I still didn’t quite believe she had just offered to let me sleep like that. 

“You feel up to drive again?” she asked, rolling her ankle.

I nodded, still unsure of what to say. I was still so close to her.

“Thanks,” I said at last. “You’re pretty comfortable.”

She looked down. “Oh.”

Feeling a wave of courage, I leaned down, resting my forehead against Kota’s. I heard a breath hitch, not sure if it was mine or hers. Her forehead was warm from the sunburn, but neither of us pulled away. I could feel the brunette’s gently exhales on my skin. _It would be so easy to just kiss her right now._

But I didn’t. Instead, I pulled away reluctantly. I didn’t want to ruin things for this woman. She was too fresh out of a relationship and probably too traumatized. I didn’t want to betray her trust. 

“Del Norte is just an hour away and they’ve got a few motels,” I said as I slid back to the driver’s side. 

“Right.”

“You’re gonna have to help me stay awake,” I told her as I pulled out of the parking lot. “Talk to me. Say anything.”

“Right! Um… your sister. Abby? What does she do?”

\-----

Somehow, we kept each other awake long enough to pull into a motel. I was relieved to stretch my legs.

“Do you have any scissors?” Kota asked.

“I should. Let me dig around. What do you need them for?”

“Cutting up the credit cards. It’s not like I can use them anymore.” There was an odd tremor in her voice. She sighed, speaking softly. “He was an ass.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” I squeezed her forearm, always mindful of the sunburn. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“Not at the moment. I’ll have to face him eventually.”

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll deal with it when it comes.” The words spilled from my mouth before I could even think about stopping them.

Kota blinked before giving me a soft look. It was a long moment before I remembered I couldn’t just stand there and stare all night. Once I remembered how to breathe, I grabbed my suitcase and the scissors, and followed her in. 

I was too tired to shower by the time we made it to our room. Instead, I flopped onto the bed and watched as Kota pulled her cards from her wallet. As if needing my moral support, she sat beside me and one by one, she cut the cards in half.

Half of one of the cards slid down the blanket and I picked it up, reading ‘Dakota A Myers.’

“Is this your full name?”

She looked over at the card piece in my hand then nodded. “Dakota Ashlyn Myers. How come?”

“Just curious.”

“How about you?”

“Emily Piper Bolton.”

I watched as Kota silently mouthed my name to herself, utterly entranced at the way her mouth moved. 

“Dakota Myers,” I said, wanting to try it for myself.

She looked up and gave me a smile. She set the scissors aside before tossing the cards in the trash. 

“Emily Bolton.” I couldn’t help my grin from widening. She chuckled. “I’m going to take a shower. Can you stay up just a little longer and help me with the spray?”

“Of course.” I gave her a thumbs up from where I laid. 

Moments after she closed the bathroom door, I passed out. I probably would have kept on sleeping had Kota not tapped me on the shoulder. It was a timid tap and it took a few tries before I finally stirred.

“Awake!” I yelled, bolting upright.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you, but-”

“It’s alright. I wasn’t really asleep.”

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Right.”

The routine was familiar now. Kota covered her chest while I lifted her shirt. The blisters were angry looking, though it could have been the moisture from the shower making them look worse.

“Can I pull this off? It’s pretty gross,” I told her, grimacing at the shirt. 

“I… Okay.”

I tugged, sliding the sleeves over her arms and then the shirt over her head. Kota stiffened. In the truck, I hadn’t gone so far as to take the shirt completely off, but leaving a messy shirt on didn’t seem like a good idea.

“I’ll grab a new one in a sec. This one’s pretty bad. A few of those blisters popped.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up your shirt.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m going to wash everything in the morning anyway since they have laundry facilities here. How was the shower with your shoulders?”

“Terrible. Just moving them kills me, so washing my hair was a nightmare.” Her muscles tensed as the spray hit her skin.

“I’ve got plenty of ibuprofen so help yourself if you need it. You’re going to be peeling so badly. Just don’t leave too much dead skin in my truck,” I joked.

“Em, you’re disgusting.” Even as she said that she giggled.

I stepped back from her. “Let me grab a shirt for you. It’s not as baggy but it’ll work.”

 _Her arms are so long._ The programmer had kept her arms close to her sides through the day that I hadn’t noticed their length. I watched as she tried to put on the new shirt. It was agonizingly slow. She pressed the old shirt over her chest with one arm while maneuvering the other one carefully. She had gotten it over her head, but watching her try to navigate those long, burnt arms through the sleeves was painful to watch. 

“Do you need some help?”

Kota grunted. “Just… If you could like, help get my arm through the sleeve…”

It was still more difficult than it needed to be, as I bunched up the sleeve and aligned it with her hand, but it meant that she didn’t have to move her shoulders as much.

As I pulled the shirt down, she gave a sigh of relief. “Thanks. I could do it, but it hurts a lot less when you help.”

“Anytime. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?”

It didn’t take long for me to change and brush my teeth. When I returned to the main room I found Kota curled up in her own bed. Despite having a full queen sized bed to herself, she took up so little space. Her jeans were neatly draped over the edge of the bed and I considered buying her a pair of pajama bottoms. 

Turns out she wasn’t asleep and she opened an eye, giving me a sleepy smile.

“Always staring,” she mumbled.

Caught, I tore my eyes away and moved to lay down in my own bed, hoping she hadn’t seen my blush. I heard a low chuckle.

“Such a mess.”

When I looked back over, her eyes were closed again. I inhaled slowly, trying to not make it sound like a gasp. 

_A mess is right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference my Mutant Guard characters, Summer and Viv from the Hole I Dug make an appearance, and I also reference Lexi and Ash from That Damn Cowgirl along with Finnick Mellor from Crash and Burn.

Unlike the day before, Kota was still asleep when I woke up. I rolled out of bed, knowing it was too early to be awake but also knowing I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Thoughts and worries about the sleeping woman buzzed in my brain. 

It was the hissing of the coffeemaker that made her stir. “What time is it?”

“Still too early. Go back to bed.”

She groaned. “Can you spray me first?”

“Sure.”

I grabbed the spray and made my way over to her. Now that some of the blisters had popped, her skin was raw. From the way she flinched as I pulled her shirt up, I assumed it was still sore too. Her shoulders really did look like slabs of meat and she scoffed when I pointed that out.

“Seriously! You’re a pork chop.”

“It’s not too early to kick your ass,” Kota threatened as I pulled the shirt back down.

“How about I do your laundry instead?”

“I’ve got it,” the brunette tried to insist but a yawn overpowered her.

I grinned. “Sleep. I’ll do it. You don’t have much anyway.”

“Fine.”

“Now sleep.”

She grumbled something incoherent while I gathered our clothes. Once I made my way to the laundry room, I emptied out my pockets before dumping the clothes into the machine. I’d sent one too many tissues and just enough tubes of chapstick through washing machines in the past that checking pockets had become routine. I slid a hand into the pocket of Kota’s jeans and frowned as I pulled out something hard. For a moment, I just stared at the diamond ring I held between my fingers.

_Shit._

I blinked before lifting it to my face for a closer look. I didn’t know much about jewelry but this was obviously an engagement ring. Slowly, I put it in my own pocket knowing this wasn’t something I wanted to risk throwing out.

 _A ring. Kota was_ engaged _._

As I put quarters into the machine I heard rushed footsteps behind me. I turned to watch Kota stagger into the room, breathing heavily.

“Em, wait. There’s something I forgot…”

Since her only pair of pants were being washed she put on a pair of my pajama bottoms. Clearly, they were way too long for her and she looked ridiculous. Cute but ridiculous.

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and held it out to her, speaking softly. “This?”

She paled. “I… I’m so sorry. I should have told you…”

I beckoned her closer with a wave of my hand. It almost looked like she was _cowering_ as she approached. I recalled the blazing anger I felt at her ex-boyfriend- ex-fiance?- the first night we met. He dumped her in the desert with no way to keep herself alive. _Was he the one who taught her how to cower like this?_

“Don’t apologize,” I said, keeping my tone as gentle as I could as I held the ring out to her. “It’s none of my business.”

“No.” Her voice was small and she made no move to take the ring so I set it on top of the dryer. She looked down at her feet. “I… I should have told you. It’s… This is part of the reason why he left me out there.”

“Kota, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I placed a tentative hand on her waist feeling a slight tremble under my palm.

“I do.” She took a deep breath. “A couple of weeks ago, Trys- my ex proposed to me. It was… very public and he’s… he’s not really a nice guy. I couldn’t tell him no in front of everyone. He would have… He would have lost it. Then he suggested I take some time off work and we could go to California. I thought it would be a simple vacation but as we were driving through the desert there.. I was working on a project and he decided we should talk. He said the reason we were going to LA was so we could look at apartments because he decided we were moving. Then he brought up some other stuff like the wedding and all that. I told him I couldn’t move because of my job and that I didn’t want to get married… I said I wasn’t ready and I wasn’t even breaking up with him but… He got mad. He didn’t even listen to what I was telling him. He just… stopped the car, right in the middle of the road, and told me to get out. I had my backpack and laptop in my lap but when I went to grab my phone or shoes he smacked my hand away. I’ve been so focused on everything else that I have no clue what to do with it.”

“Oh, shit.” I wasn’t sure when my other arm had gone around Kota but I was holding her close now, her forehead resting against my collar. “Baby.”

She nestled closer and I held her as tightly as I dared. The cocktail of emotions running through me was so intense, so confusing. Fury that someone would treat her like that. Sadness that she’d suffered. A surge of compassion. I even felt a bit of guilty excitement. Kota was in _my_ arms now. She would be safe there. _This is right._

“You could sell it or so something symbolic like throw it off a cliff or something,” I suggested. 

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” A vibration of weak laughter rattled against my body. 

My chest burned. My brain was sending me those awful, conflicting signals again. I was about to lose control, _badly._

“But I want to make sure you know that…” Kota paused. “Last night… I was so sure that you… That we…” I was so glad she couldn’t see my blush. “I mean… I don’t want you to, like… get the wrong idea about me or something.”

“What wrong idea?” I asked, feeling her tremble.

“I don’t know. I… Being with Trystan… it wasn’t right. Nothing about it was and I think I figured that out a while ago. But… with you… It’s almost like this is how it’s supposed to be.” She groaned. “You probably think I’m crazy. None of this is logical.”

The words themselves wouldn’t have made sense if I hadn’t known _precisely_ what she was talking about. My hand shook slightly as I traced my hand against Kota’s temple, my fingers sliding into her chocolate hair. She looked up at me.

I knew about my own world. So much in it was wrong. The broken relationship with my parents, not being _needed_ by anyone anymore, not having anywhere to go. My life was aimless. But looking into Kota’s eyes, _this_ was where I was supposed to be. 

With a hand in her hair, I kissed her, delicate and testing. There was no fear of rejection. _This_ was the only right decision I ever made and it was as true as my own name. Kota’s lips were chapped but the roughness didn’t bother me. I dug my hands into her lower back trying to pull her closer while she balled her fists. 

Unfortunately, we had to come up for air eventually. When we did neither of us could speak. Inches away her eyes seemed unfocused as she caught her breath. 

“That was...” She gave a small shake of her head. “Wow.”

I was inclined to agree. As I came back down to earth, my eyes darted around the room remembering where we were. 

“Em…” My eyes landed back on hers. She was smiling a dazed little smile. “Did you even start the wash?”

“Nope.” A slow grin spread across my face. “I had other things to think about.”

“Oh?”

I gave her another quick kiss before finally starting the washing machine. With how early it was we risked leaving our laundry unattended as we went back to our room, hands clasped together. 

Kota didn’t even want to look at the ring again so I stuck it in my own pocket for safekeeping. I couldn’t blame her. It represented a period in her life where choices were not her own, where she lived every day on edge, where love was not real. I squeezed her hand. She didn’t look back. She only smiled and squeezed back.

A sort of understanding had passed silently between us. We both slid into my bed without a word, wanting nothing more than each other’s company. I sat up against the headboard, an arm around Kota while she snuggled against my side.

“What now?” she asked.

“Hmm?” I looked down at her, a warm, not at all unpleasant, shock passed through me seeing her laying there. 

“Should we… talk about this?”

“Maybe. Not right now, though. We’ve got all the time in the world to talk about it.” I brushed my fingers over her side, feeling the shiver that ran up her body, causing me to smile. “It’s still pretty early. I sort of just… want to be like this. For now anyway.”

Kota hummed a reply. She was almost completely limp. After a moment of hesitation, I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the top of her head.

Though I didn’t fall asleep, the smaller woman drifted off pretty quickly. The conflicted thoughts that had been so loud in my brain earlier that morning had all fallen silent as I studied the body I was holding against me. Those long arms and fingers, the chocolate hair, the way she curled into me, the way her chest rose and fell against me, and the soft exhales on my shirt. Kota was overwhelmingly beautiful.

“No one’s gonna hurt you again,” I murmured as she slept on.

\-----

I hated having to get up to move our laundry to the dryer and, from the sounds Kota was making, she wasn’t pleased about it either. I flew up the stairs and changed the laundry over in record time, eager to get back to her.

When I stepped back into the room, I found her sitting against the headboard, laptop open and glasses on. Wordlessly, I slipped in next to her.

“What are you working on?”

“Checking my email and such. My boss said to let her know if I need anything else. I’m also locking my phone so Trystan can’t mess with it.”

“You can do that?”

“ _I_ can. I have my phone and laptop connected so I can control one with the other. The last thing I want is him going through my phone any more than he might already have. So I’m logging out of my accounts and adding a password so he shouldn’t be able to open the phone anyway.”

“You’re a fucking genius you know that?”

Kota giggled, tapping my nose with her finger. “Not quite but I do try. Plus, this way, I’ll be able to see when he’s heading back to Dallas. So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Well, I was thinking about heading up to Denver to visit one of my cousins. I figured we could crash at her place for the night before continuing east. What do you think?”

“Sounds nice.”

“Cool. I feel like you’d get along with her. She’s also a big nerd.”

Kota scoffed, turning to face me with a faux look of disbelief. “How dare you. I am not a nerd. I’m a geek. There’s a difference.”

I giggled, leaving a kiss on the tip of her nose. “If you say so. But, really, she seems right up your alley. Her fiancee’s pretty cool too.”

\-----

After I collected our laundry and took a shower, we checked out of the motel. Once we were in the truck and back on the road, I made the decision to call Abby. I put it on speaker so Kota could hear the shrill mess that was my younger sister.

 _“Em! ”_ Abby squealed. _“Are you in Florida yet?”_

I laughed. “We’re in Colorado.”

 _“Weeeeee?”_ Abby latched onto that word hard. _“Who’s weeeeee?”_

“A… friend.” I noticed how Kota’s lips twitched in a grin.

“ _Why didn’t you tell me about them before?”_

“It’s a long story. But I’m probably gonna take a few extra days, I think. She’s never really traveled much so I wanna show her around.”

There was a long pause and I could practically hear the gears turning in my sister’s head. I looked over to Kota and raised my eyebrows.

_“Is she your girlfriend?”_

Nervous laughter poured out of my mouth while Kota actually smirked at the question. “I… She…”

I looked helplessly at Kota. That smirk was a challenge. What we had experienced this morning was hard to put any label on. I hadn't even thought about what I considered the woman to be. A stranger, but not a stranger. A hitchhiker, but more than that now. There was a rightness that I couldn’t explain to Abby. I couldn’t even comprehend it myself. 

“Yes,” I finally breathed as I looked at Kota squarely. “She is.”

I nearly jumped away from my phone at the sound of Abby’s squealing. I didn’t understand half of the questions she was throwing at me, nor did I really want to. I was too focused on the glowing expression on Kota’s face.

“We’ll talk about it later,” I finally said into the phone. “Damn, Abby, calm the fuck down. You’ve met some of my girlfriends before.”

_“But you haven’t had a girlfriend in forever! This is big news! I knew there was still hope for you.”_

I felt my face burn and Kota covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hide her smile. 

“Look,” I was determined not to have Abby destroy the point of the phone call, “I just wanted to check with you. Will _you_ survive if I’m a few days behind schedule?”

“ _No. I’m going to die. I’m dying right now.”_ A gurgling sound came from the speaker and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re not too old for me to kick your ass,” I warned and Abby giggled. 

“ _I’m old enough to fight back! I’m so glad you’re coming home! Dad's already filled the house with all your favorite snacks and he can’t stop talking about it. I think he's the only one who’ll suffer if you keep us waiting.”_

“A little suffering isn’t going to kill him,” I said stiffly. I wondered for a moment if I needed to turn it off speaker, but I was aware of brown eyes on me as I woke the screen up.

“ _I know. Dad is sorry, y’know.”_

“Whatever.” _I’ll believe it when I see it._ I stared at the photo of Abby on my screen. I could almost see her speaking. She was always the peacekeeper, always the one who pushed for reconciliation. I could imagine the sadness in her eyes. 

I felt Kota’s hand grip my thigh, warm and encouraging. I looked over and smiled weakly.

“ _I’ll tell them you’ll be a little late. He’ll understand.”_ Abby paused for a moment. “ _I’m so excited you found someone, Em.”_

“Me too.”

Kota slid closer to me and I had never been so grateful for someone’s presence. I had no idea how tense my muscles had gotten until she was against my side. One by one, I willed my muscles to relax. 

_“Just get me lots of postcards! And tell Summer and Viv hi for me.”_

“Who said I was going to see them?”

“ _You’re in Colorado and Summer is your favorite cousin. Of course you’re gonna stop and visit her. I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”_

“I suppose you have a point.”

Even though the rest of the conversation was easier, a hint of discomfort still remained. The moment I hung up, I pulled Kota into me even tighter.

“Girlfriend, huh?” she asked as she snuggled against me.

“It made sense. It’s what we are, right?”

She pretended to consider. “It does make sense. I’m not sure if the rest of the world would think so though.”

“Fuck ‘em.” We both shared a small laugh. 

I was relieved that Kota didn’t ask about either of my parents, even though I knew that she heard the conversation with Abby. Instead, we talked about things we liked such as our favorite movies, shows, and books. I wasn’t surprised to learn that she was a big Disney fan and I couldn’t help but smile as she explained her favorite tv shows to me. She had the same spark in her eyes as when she told me about her job. _She’s so passionate._

“Who’s your favorite author?” I asked after sharing my own favorite shows.

“I’d have to say, Finnick Mellor. I love his robot series. What about you?”

“Summer Larsen.”

“I’ve heard of her. She’s that fantasy writer, right?” I gave a quick nod. “I’ve read a few of her books. They’re pretty cool. I love how they all tie together but you can still read one without needing to read the others.”

I smiled. _I can’t wait to see her reaction when she finds out._

\-----

“I’m just saying it could be gayer. There’s only two same sex relationships.”

“Okay, yeah there could have been more but one of those _is_ from the main team. You also have to remember that most of the characters are some kind of LGBT. Mirage is pan, Gabby is gay, pretty much everyone in Westside Royalty is something, Savage herself is demi ace.”

“That’s true.”

At some point, I had brought up my favorite comic books and Kota smiled ear to ear. Her knowledge of the Mutant Guard was impressive and not just limited to the movies like most people I’ve talked to.

“Anywho… We’re almost there. They live in this suburb.” 

Kota fidgeted. “Is there anything I should know before I meet them?”

“Not really. They’re cool so I wouldn’t worry.” 

“What about… What about us? Are we going to tell them?”

I thought for a moment. “I think it might be best to keep a friend status around them for now. We’ll say you’re a friend from LA who decided to tag along.”

“Okay.” She frowned a little and I could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she stared out the window at the houses we passed.

Not long later, I pulled into the driveway of my cousin’s rancher. I had a giant smile on my face as I hopped out of the truck, waiting for Kota before leading the way to the porch. I knocked on the door and after a moment it swung open to reveal a tall woman with black hair. A large grin sprouted on her face as hazel eyes found me.

“Hey, Viv!”

"Well, look at who dropped by!" Strong arms wrapped around me and I returned the gesture. “Cómo estás?”

"I’m doing pretty good actually. Summer home?"

"She's always home. Come on in." She stepped to the side and I walked in with Kota close behind. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Kota. Kota, this is my cousin’s fiancee, Viv."

"Nice to meet you." The programmer offered her hand.

"Nice to meet you too." I watched surprise flash over Kota's face when Viv gripped her offered hand with her red and black prosthetic. "Anywho, I'll go grab Summer."

I watched as she walked off towards my cousin's office before leaning into Kota and whispering in her ear. “She was attacked and ended up losing her hand. She also wears a brace to help with her leg. She’s a little self conscious about it but don’t worry.” She nodded in understanding. 

After a moment, Viv returned following Summer. "Em! I didn't know you were coming! What are you doing in Denver?"

I stepped forward and we shared a hug. "I'm actually on my way home to Miami but I figured, hey I'm out here, why not visit my cousin?"

"Is that so? Well, it's so nice to see you. And I see you brought a friend."

"This is Kota.”

Again, Kota offered her hand. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

Blue eyes flicked between Kota and me before narrowing at me. After a moment Summer took Kota’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Summer, and you’ve already met Viv.”

There was a loud thump and we turned to see a fluffy brown dog smiling at us through the sliding glass door. 

“And that would be Fizzgig,” Viv said, fighting back a laugh.

\-----

“Em, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Summer said leaning across the island and adjusting her glasses. We had spent the rest of the day laying around the house catching up with my cousin and her fiancee. Now I had just finished helping Summer clean up after dinner while the others were out back. 

I flopped my head on the counter in exasperation. Those were the exact words I said to her not even two years ago.

“Yup.”

“So, are you going to tell me what’s really going on between you and Kota?”

“I’d rather not but you’re not gonna stop till I do.” Summer nodded with a grin. “Just promise you won’t think we’re crazy.”

Her eyebrows knitted together. “You know I’d never think that of you.” I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I promise.”

I flopped my head down again. “I’ve only known Kota for three days. I was driving down some back road in the desert when I found her on the side of the road. Her ex-fiance left her there with no phone, no water, no shoes. If I hadn’t come along she would probably be dead.” A small gasp escaped the blonde. “She’s still figuring stuff out and I offered to help her however I can. There’s just something about her that just feels right. Like it’s meant to be. Then this morning…” 

“What happened this morning?”

“We… we talked about some things and… and we became a couple. I know we haven’t known each other long but… Even she… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to.” I look at her and found her dead serious. “Love’s complex. As long as you’re both happy then why bother wondering about the why or how?”

“It’s just… have you ever had the feeling you know someone, like really know someone, but you know you’ve never met them before in your life?”

“I can’t say I have, however… Do you recall my first book?”

“The Theif of Dalsor Woods?”

“Yeah. Have you ever noticed how similar Reella and Viv are?

I thought for a moment. _Their personalities are similar. They both like to joke around and fight for what they believe in and stuff. Hell, if you take away Reella’s fantasy traits and shove her in a normal outfit she would basically be Viv._ I nodded my head.

“I started writing that book in college. I designed the characters before that. The book itself was published years before I had even met Viv. I guess you could say that I kinda knew Viv before I had even known about her existence.”

“The world work in odd ways doesn’t it.”

“That it does. But seriously, as long as you’re both happy I don’t care how or when you two met.”

“Thanks, Summer.” I slid off the stool. “I’m gonna go see what they’re up to.”

She nodded and I headed out back. Stepping through the sliding glass door I found them laying in the lounge chairs, both of them looking up at the stars while Fizzgig laid on top of Viv. Rather than walk over and join them, I stayed by the door.

"Let me tell you a story." Kota looked at Viv while the fighter stared up at the stars her prosthetic fingers carding through the dog’s fur. "There once was a woman who lived in New York City with her controlling asshole of a boyfriend. She grew tired of how he treated her and one day she got enough courage to leave. One day, while he was at work, she packed as many of her belongings as she could fit into her car and left. She spent weeks driving across the country looking for a new place she could call home, a place she could build a new life. One day, when she was on some dirt road in the middle of nowhere, her car broke down. Her phone was dead and the nearest house had to have been at least a few miles away. She didn't know what to do. Not even five minutes after her car stopped another woman came tearing down the dirt road on an ATV. This new woman gave her a ride to town, helped her contact the local mechanic, and got her somewhere to stay. Problem was, she didn't have very much money left, so she couldn't afford to repair her car. Things seemed bleak but she ended up finding a job at the local diner and befriending some of the other locals. She found her new home. And not only did she fall in love with that tiny, middle of nowhere town in Kansas, she also fell in love with that cowgirl who saved her."

"Really?" I could see Kota’s eyes sparkling.

"It's all true. The cowgirl is my cousin and the woman is my cousin in law. They live on the family farm, got married a few years ago, and are expecting their first kid."

"Wow."

"Yup." Viv turned back to Kota. "Just because something sucky happens it doesn't mean it's all bad. If Lexi's car never broke down she never would have met Ash or stayed in Littlecreek. Had either me or Summer not had one of our incidents we never would have met and I wouldn't be where I am now. Yeah, it's hard at first but it's so much better in the long run. Trust me, I know."

Kota turned her head to the stars. "I guess you're right."

"Por supuesto que estoy."

Not wanting to ruin the moment, I turned around and made my way back to the kitchen. I returned to the stool at the counter and Summer slid me a mug.

“I didn’t know Viv’s family were farmers.”

“Oh, is she talking about her cousin? Her family came over from Spain and got a farm in Kansas. Her grandma was supposed to inherit it but ended up giving it to her sister and moving to Colorado Springs. A few years ago Viv got in touch with that part of her family and now they’re pretty close.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah. If you’re heading that way maybe you could stop by the town. Littlecreek is lovely and their diner is amazing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. It sounds nice.”

Not long later, the back door slid open and we watched as Kota made her way in. She shuffled over, still appearing to be unsure of herself. I offered a hand to her and she gave a smile as she took it, letting me pull her into me.

“Everything okay?” I spotted Summer’s grin from the corner of my eye but decided to ignore it. 

“Yeah. I’m okay. I was probably going to head to bed. Can you spray my shoulders for me?”

“Yeah. Of course.” I got to my feet and followed her. I paused in the living room, turning to Summer. “Is it cool if I use the shower after I’ve helped her?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” She placed our mugs in the sink before making her way to the back door. “I’ll be out back with Viv if you need anything.” We exchanged a soft look before going separate ways. 

I stepped into the guest bedroom to find Kota already changed into a pair of my pajama pants and sitting on the bed topless with her back to me and a blanket covering her chest. I grabbed the spray from the bag and crawled across the bed to sit behind her. 

“So, your cousin is a big time fantasy author and her fiance is a former UFC fighter.” 

I giggled as I started spraying her shoulders. “Yup. Pretty cool, huh?” She nodded as I finished up. “Well, I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back, okay?”

“Okay.” I pressed a kiss to her temple before grabbing a change of clothes and making my way to the bathroom. 

When I returned, freshly showered and having wished my cousin and her fiancee goodnight, I found Kota already asleep. I giggled as I walked over to her. She was propped up against the headboard, her head flopped to the side with her glasses hanging precariously on her nose and her laptop asleep on her lap.

“Gods, you’re adorable.”

I grabbed her laptop and glasses and put them to the side before carefully moving her down the bed so she was laying down with her head resting on the pillow. After turning off the light, I climbed in next to her.

I smiled as she rolled into me, resting her head on my chest as her arms wrapped around my waist. I wrapped my own arm around her, tugging her closer, and kissed the top of her head.

With a sigh, I flopped my head back. _This is perfect._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we got some more Viv and Summer and our duo heads to Littlecreek where they run into a certain cowgirl, photographer, and waiter. I'll also be posting a new chapter of That Damn Cowgirl and that will actually give some insight into somethings in this chapter.

I blinked open my eyes, looking down at the mess of brown hair spilling over my chest. I carefully ran my fingers through it, smiling as my companion released a happy hum. I gave her a kiss on top of the head before carefully untangling myself from her. I quickly replaced myself with the pillow I was using and smiled even more as Kota nuzzled into it. 

After watching her for another moment or two, I shuffled out of the room. Reaching the living room, I heard the clicking of a keyboard drifting from the office and shook my head. I made my way over and leaned in the doorway, watching as Summer sat at her desk typing away on her laptop.

Without pausing or even glancing over she said, “Good morning, Em.”

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Viv isn’t much of an early riser and she refuses to put on her brace when she first wakes up.” I giggled recalling the fighter’s comment once when she shuffled from the bedroom while Summer and I were video calling one morning. “As for your girlfriend, she seems to be on the timid side so I can’t picture her leaving the room without you.”

I nodded at that as she turned in her chair to face me. “She’s not much an early riser either, at least as far as I can tell. She is still healing emotionally and physically.”

“True. Her sunburn is worse than that time we all went to the beach and Dad forgot our sunscreen.” She shook her head at the memory. 

I laughed. “Gods, your mom was so mad about that. I seriously thought she’d kill him.”

“Your mom was really mad too. He was in so much trouble for that and all I remember is being in pain for days.” We both laughed.

I leaned against the doorframe again, smirking at her. “So, did you run out of your own clothes or something?”

Her face turned as red as the t-shirt she wore. Given the fact that it was a size too big on her and had UFC printed on the front, I assumed it was Viv’s.

“I- You- Fuck off Em,” she sputtered before turning back to her work. “Anywho, you know your way around the kitchen so help yourself.”

I shook my head before doing just that.

\-----

“So we decided to have the wedding next spring. We still have no clue where exactly but we’ll let everyone know of course.”

I nodded as I slipped an omelet on a plate and handed it over to Summer who sat at the breakfast counter. “Cuz what, you need a place, the colors you want, flowers, what everyone’s going to wear. Damn you have a lot of stuff to do.”

She shrugged. “We know what colors. We just need everything else. And you know my mom’s going to go nuts when it gets closer.”

“That’s true. Lilah’s probably going to go crazy too with how big of a perfectionist she is.”

My cousin laughed. “That’s true. But she has gotten better.”

I laughed and watched as Kota shuffled from our room. She plopped down next to Summer with a large yawn.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?”

“Really good.” 

“Would you like an omelet?” I asked as I cracked another egg in a bowl to mix.

“Yes please.” She dropped her head into her folded arms which rested on the counter causing me to chuckle.

“So, when do you think Viv will be up?” I asked, pouring everything into the pan.

“Oh, she should be up soon. In fact, I hear her now.” 

Sure enough, I could hear a faint popping sound that grew closer. I turned to see Viv shuffling over similar to how Kota did, the main difference being that every time she took a step her right leg let out a loud pop since she wasn’t wearing her brace. She moved behind Summer and wrapped her arms around the blonde, her right arm ending just before her wrist.

“Buenos días, Tesoro. Cómo dormiste?”

Summer giggled, leaning back into her fiancee. “Bien, y tú?” The former fighter nodded, her face buried in blonde hair. “That’s good. Viv?” She hummed. “What’s the one thing I tell you every morning?”

“It’s about time you got up?”

“The other thing.”

Viv groaned with a pout before making her way back to their bedroom. I chuckled as I flipped the omelet.

“You’ve got her wrapped around your finger, don’t you? At least it’s mutual.”

Summer raised an eyebrow as she adjusted her glasses.“Do you really want to start with that Em?” I turned red as I went back to the stove. “So, Kota, you said you went to college in Dallas?”

The brunette sat up, finally managing to wake herself up. “Oh, yeah, I went to UDT.”

“Really? That’s where my little brother went. He graduated last month and studied robotics.”

“That’s cool. Does he have a job lined up or anywhere specific he wants to work at?”

I smiled, listening to my cousin and girlfriend jump through different topics while Viv, who had joined me in the kitchen after applying her brace and prosthetic, and I finished making breakfast. 

\-----

“So, Summer suggested we stop by Littlecreek. She said it’s a cute town and they got a nice diner,” I said as we left my cousin’s neighborhood.

“Sounds good to me. Is there anywhere else you know of that you’d like to-” My phone buzzed, cutting her off, and I scowled at it.

“Don’t answer it,” I said as Kota reached for it.

“It’s your dad. What if it’s an emergency?”

“It’s not. I promise. He just… he’s been trying to talk to me and I just can’t handle him right now. He’s going to want to know everything about why I’m being so slow. Or maybe Abby’s told him that we’ll be a few extra days. I don’t know.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see her looking at me. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. 

“Look, it’s really not a big deal. Really. We just… got into a fight a couple years ago and I ended up leaving. That’s basically all there is to it.”

It wasn’t really, but I didn’t want to dig up that mess of hurt and anger. I buried it for a reason.

“It’s probably not really my business,” Kota said after a moment, “but are we taking this… roundabout way to like… stall or something?”

“I… no!” I protested even as I felt my cheeks grow hot. “I…”

“I’m not judging,” she replied, patient. “We can take as long as you need to. Just please let me help.”

I felt her hand on my thigh. I shook my head, using my blonde hair to cover my now red ears. I had no idea what to say.

Kota continued, “Wherever we’re going, I’ll stay with you. If that’s what you want… Then maybe… we’ll find our way home. Together… Right?”

It wasn’t just that I had no idea what to say anymore, I physically couldn’t speak past the knot that had formed in my throat. _Together._ Kota couldn’t have known the weight of what she was saying. _Three days. I’ve known this woman for three fucking days. There’s no way in hell she’d still want me._

“Em?” 

But then Kota says my name like _that_.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you to make you stay if you didn’t want to,” I finally said, slowly. “I’m not… Please don’t feel obligated.”

Her brows furrowed. “Em… You remember the way we felt yesterday, right?” I nodded. “Then you should _know_ I’m not staying out of obligation. I mean…” She gave a nervous laugh. “I thought we agreed that we were dating.”

“True.”

She bit her lip. “Can you just… pull over? For a minute?”

There was a small sinking feeling in my stomach but I did as I was asked. I didn’t think I could truly dread anything about Kota now, other than the expectation of eventual loss. Maybe it was just anticipation or anxiety. These were all my own feelings, not hers. _Gods, I hope she isn’t feeling the same way._ I put the truck in park and turned to face her.

“Can you… can you look at me?”

I had been staring over her shoulder and winced at being called out. Trying to fake some confidence, I met brown eyes.

“I can tell people have hurt you before. You always get such a weird look in your eye when you talk about your parents and the other morning… you got really weird when I asked if you were ditching me.”

I tried to look away again. This time, she stopped me with a gentle hand on one side of my jaw. I could have moved my eyes but I was drawn into Kota’s brown ones, the sunlight almost turning them gold. They held me steady.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I sighed, opening my mouth to say I wasn’t worried about that, but she held up a finger silencing me. “No. Just let me talk for a minute. I thought this was all just like… a series of happy accidents or something that we met in the first place. Well, maybe not _happy_ , but like… coincidences. But, we’re supposed to be here. As illogical as it sounds, everything we’ve ever done has led to this. I’m _not_ going to leave you or push you away.”

I blinked. That knot in my throat was back. _I’m not going to cry._ Instead, I grabbed Kota by the shirt, pulling her closer, and kissed her long, hard, and desperately.

Tears fell anyway. Not loudly or painfully, but she must have felt them. The hand on my jaw migrated to my cheek. I broke the kiss to hug her tight against me, burying my face in her hair.

_Everything in my life had led to this. All the struggle, the grief, the pain… had brought me to Kota. How can I regret any of it now?_

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall apart,” I mumbled as I pulled away. “I usually don’t, but-”

She held a finger to my lips, her smile bright. “You should know better than to apologize.”

“I… I left home a couple of years ago.” The words tumbled from my mouth. “People have left me… treated me like I’m a disappointment… my whole life. That was the first time _I_ had ever left.” Inhale, exhale. “I don’t… I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Hesitantly, Kota ran a hand through my hair. “I… I’ve been thinking. You said you might not stay in Miami. What if… What if you came to live with me in Dallas after we visited your family? I have an apartment there that’s under my name. Once I kick Trystan out maybe… you could move in?”

“Really?

“If you want to.”

Our next kiss was much more gentle.

\----- 

“So this is Littlecreek,” I said as we drove past a sign welcoming us. 

“It’s cute. Definitely smaller than I expected though.” Kota looked out her window, watching the storefronts pass by. “Of course, Viv did say it was a ‘tiny, middle of nowhere town.’”

“Would you like to walk around some before heading to the diner?”

“Sounds good to me.”

I parked the truck on one of the side streets next to the park and we made our way back to the main street. At some point Kota’s hand found mine and I felt as though I was on cloud nine. 

We made our way down the street, stopping in the occasional store just to see what they had. We walked past a general store and paused to look in the window. It had neatly stacked shelves full of brands I didn’t recognize. Right in front of the window was fresh produce, still in crates with the farmers' names on the front. Along the right wall were some freezers full of what seemed to be homemade beverages and other goods. Along the left wall was a counter, behind it were shelves of liquor, cigarettes, and other things. 

“Ooh, Em!” I turned to see Kota giving me an excited look. I hummed. “Can we check out that store?”

I looked to the next store and smiled. It was an art supply store and I recalled the sketchbook tucked away in the woman’s backpack. “Of course.”

Her smile grew and I felt my heartbeat quicken as she tugged me inside. I followed her around with a smile of my own as she zig zagged through the small aisles pointing out different things and occasionally explaining what they were for.

I offered to buy her some new color pencils seeing as she didn’t have anything besides her sketchbook and a singular pencil. She shook her head saying she wouldn’t be able to use them anyway since we’d be driving. _She does have a point,_ I thought as we left the store.

“See you later Ash!” I heard a feminine voice yell.

“Bye!” I turned and watched as a woman waved to someone in the general store she just walked out of. She wasn’t on the short side with long brown hair and tan skin covered in scars. She wore a black cowboy hat, a black tank top, and worn jeans that tucked into a pair of dusty cowboy boots.

“Ash?” Kota said, surprise in her tone. 

The woman turned to us and I asked, “Are you the Ash who has a cousin living in Denver?”

The cowgirl quirked an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah. Viv’s my cousin. How can I help you?”

“I’m Summer’s cousin. My name’s Em.”

Ash’s face lit up and she walked over, offering her hand. “I remember Summer mentioning you. What brings you to Littlecreek?”

I shook her hand which was rough with callouses. “My girlfriend and I are on a road trip across the country and they suggested we stop by and check out the town.”

“They also suggested we grab a bite to eat at the diner,” Kota said when it was her turn to shake Ash’s hand.

“That so? I was just about to go pick up my wife and get some dinner there. Would you like to join us?” 

“Oh, we wouldn’t want to impose,” Kota said, clasping her hands behind her back.

“Please,” Ash waved her hand through the air, “the more the merrier.”

“Okay, why not?”

“Cool. I can give you a ride over if you two are okay with riding in the bed.” Ash gestured to the red pickup truck parked along the curb. 

I looked down at Kota who nodded to me. “Sure!”

“Alright then! Just hop on in. Lexi should be waiting by the library there,” the cowgirl called as she walked around the truck. 

I climbed into the bed before turning to help Kota. I was surprised by how easily I was able to lift her. We took a seat, leaning against the side, and I gave Ash a thumbs up which she returned before starting the truck.

We drove a couple of blocks down and Ash came to a stop in front of the large building located across the street from the park. Kota and I watched as a blonde woman with a baby bump made her way over. She raised an eyebrow at us as Ash hopped out to get the door.

“You remember Summer?” Ash asked after they shared a quick kiss.

“Your cousin’s fiancee?”

Ash nodded. “That’s her cousin Em and her girl. I invited them to come to the diner with us.” The cowgirl froze, looking at Kota as her wife offered me a hand over the side of the bed. “How rude of me, I just realized I never got your name.”

“Oh, it’s Kota,” she said as she shook the blonde’s hand.

“Well, I’m Lexi. It’s nice to meet you and yeah, the more the merrier.” I was surprised by her New York accent.

“Alright then, are you ready?” Ash asked, watching carefully as her wife climbed into the passenger seat before heading back to the driver’s side.

As we drove further down the street I watched the different stores pass by. There were a few small clothing stores, a bookstore, a hardware store, and a few other places I didn’t quite see. 

I felt Kota jump when Ash honked the horn before sticking her arm out the window to wave at a man leaning against a mechanic’s shop. He ran his hand through his brown hair before waving back. 

A moment later we pulled into a gravel parking lot across the street from the mechanics. Once the engine was off, I hopped out of the bed and turned to help Kota. We quietly followed the older couple into the diner where I took a look around. Along the windows were red leather booths with white tables, the floor was a checkerboard with black and white tiles, and there were chrome accents everywhere. It wasn’t very busy seeing how it was too early for the dinner rush and certainly too late for the lunch one.

“Hey Ash, Lexi,” a man with dusty brown hair and glasses greeted as he leaned against across the counter. “You two got company?”

Ash shrugged. “You remember my cousin from Denver?”

“She’s the one who used to be a fighter, right?”

“Yup. This is her fiancee’s cousin and her girl. They’re passing through and I guess your diner was recommended.”

He grinned. “Well, that’s nice of them. Anywho, you guys take a seat somewhere and I’ll be with you in a sec.”

The cowgirl gave him a thumbs up and we all followed Lexi to a booth. Ash asked her wife about her day while Kota and I looked over the menu, the older couple seeming to already know their orders. 

After a few minutes the waiter, who I learned was named Cooper despite his name tag reading Wildfire, came over and took our orders. As we waited for our food and even after it came the four of us talked. Ash and I joked about our cousins, Lexi asked Kota about her career, the older couple told us about Littlecreek.

“My dad’s actually from some small town in Kansas,” Kota said, picking at the fries on her plate. “He never told me which one though,” 

“Really?” Ash tilted her head in interest. At some point, her wife had stollen her cowboy hat. “What’s his name?”

“Brian Myers.”

The cowgirl went pale while her wife froze. “No shit.”

Kota quirked an eyebrow. “Do you know him?”

“I’ve… heard the name.” Ash looked down at her plate and I watched as Lexi must have grabbed her hand under the table. “What happened to him after he left town?”

“Oh, he ended up in Oklahoma City, working at some warehouse. He met my mom at some bar, they hit it off and started seeing each other. She ended up getting pregnant with me and yeah, I haven’t seen him in years. Not since I decided to live with my mom full time.”

“He never married?”

“Not that I know of. I’d spend most weekends with him and he never saw anyone after my mom, so…” Kota frowned at her plate and I watched as the older couple shared a look.

Feeling the need for a topic change, I drummed my fingers on the table. “Soooo, you two are gonna have a kid. What’s that like?”

“It’s a lot,” Ash admitted, her tone was lighter but I could still see something dragging her down though I couldn’t tell what. 

Lexi smiled. “We talked about it a lot and then we decided we were ready. We talked to Ash’s brother, Logan, about being our donor, and yeah… I’m due in August.”

“That’s amazing!” Kota’s smile was back. “Do you have any name ideas?”

“We’ve been tossing around a few.” Ash counted them on her fingers. “Brooke, Blake, Pyrrha, Skylar.”

“Those sound amazing. I’m guessing you’re having a girl then?” I asked, before grabbing some of my fries.

“Yes, we are. Our friends are expecting a girl too so that will be fun. When is Cede due again?” Lexi asked, turning to her wife.

“I think Cooper said in September.”

I offered Kota some of my fries when I noticed all of hers were gone. I watched as she slowly, unsurely, took a few. 

“That’s cool though. They can grow up together,” I said offering the programmer some more.

Ash and Lexi nodded. “My parents were actually close friends with Cooper’s so me and him actually grew up together. We’re still best friends. Maybe our kids will be the same way.”

The rest of the conversation was easy. Ash shared more about her life growing up and running a farm while Lexi told us about her photography. Ash had even asked Kota quite a bit about her childhood. I noticed that throughout the conversation the cowgirl’s tone was light but it wasn’t as laid back as it originally was. _Did we say something to upset her?_

\-----

After we finished our dessert, which was probably the best pie I ever had, the dinner rush was starting so we made our leave. In the parking lot, we said our goodbyes to the older couple and watched them leave before ambling down the main road some more. 

_It’s a nice town,_ I thought as we got back to the truck. _A bit small for my taste but I can see the appeal._

“So, if you’re going to be my girlfriend, I need to figure you out,” I said as we left Littlecreek. “It’s only been a couple of days and I don't know very much about you.”

“Likewise.”

“So, what do you like to do for fun?”

“I like to read, draw, and work on my own little coding projects.”

“What do you like to read?”

She shrugged. “I read a little of everything. What about you? You like camping, hiking, picking up strange girls off the side of the road…”

“Hey, I never really did that before you.” A small blush crept into my cheeks. “That was, like… a one-off.”

“Funny, the way the world works,” she commented. “You studied philosophy…”

“And minored in bullshit,” I added helpfully. This made Kota laugh.

“How was it? Did you go to UFM?”

“Nope. I didn’t want to take out the loans for that. Abby went there but she got a shitload of scholarships. I just went to a local, small time college. It wasn’t that bad, though! I met some great people there. You said you went to UDT?”

“Yup.”

“How was it?”

“It was okay. It probably would’ve been better if I hadn’t been dating Trystan the whole time, but I got through.”

I drummed her fingers against the steering wheel. “Shit, you were with him the whole time?”

“We started dating in high school. He thinks college and all that is stupid so he didn’t like the idea of me going but he moved to Dallas with me when I went.” 

“I…” I wasn’t sure what to say. If Kota was being more open about herself I felt that I should be, too. _But how?_

It was strange enough to remember that Kota had me stop the truck this morning to reassure me that she wouldn’t leave. I hadn’t said anything beyond that people had left me. But if we were connected… 

“I grew up in a suburban part of Miami called The Hammocks,” I said in a quiet voice. “My mom taught science at the local middle school. That’s where Abby gets her love of physics, I think.” I smiled a little. “She used to do little goofy science experiments with us all the time.”

“She sounds like she was a great mom,” Kota offered. 

I nodded, squeezing her hand. “She was.”

\-----

We pulled into the hotel late that night. We had spent most of the time play a game of twenty questions, just learning simple things about each other such as our birthdays, favorite movies, colors, and such. Listening to her it seemed as though none of this information was new to me, as if it had been tucked away deep in my mind and simply being remembered.

“Two beds?” the man at the front desk asked. Kota and I exchanged a look. There was a smile hiding in brown eyes, invisible to the man at the front desk, but all too plain to me.

“Nope. One bed.”

The man leered and I resisted the urge to punch him in the mouth. 

Instead, I leaned closer to stare right back. “If that’s going to be a problem, we’ll gladly take our business elsewhere.”

The man looked from me, to Kota, then back to me. He didn’t argue. He wasn’t worth the trouble and he’d be gone by the time we checked out in the morning. I could survive a minute of discomfort and then write a bad Yelp review.

He huffed and, after I signed the paperwork, he handed me a couple of keycards. “Enjoy your stay,” he mumbled. I took them and briskly led Kota away.

“God, he was a creep,” I muttered. 

Kota nodded. “I don’t think they get many women sharing beds in this part of the country,” she remarked. 

There was a small flutter in my stomach. _Sharing a bed_. Despite having shared one last night I couldn’t help but feel giddy. It was one thing to cuddle in one bed but actually sleeping beside each other was still hard to imagine.

It was a cheap hotel, and I had known better than to expect much from it but I was a little disappointed that the room was so small. I dropped my bag on top of the desk.

“I’m going to take a shower. Do you need one first?” Kota asked. 

I shook my head. “You go ahead. I’ll spray your shoulders when you’re out.”

Moments after she disappeared into the bathroom, my phone buzzed and I was surprised when Viv’s name appeared instead of Abby’s or my dad’s. I accepted the call and held the device to my ear.

“Hey, Viv. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to know that I got a call from Ash earlier. She said that she ran into you two in town and you all had dinner together.”

“Yeah.” I took a seat on the bed. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t think so. She did seem kinda… no sé. She was asking a bunch of questions about Kota though. I told her what I knew about her and she wanted me to ask if Kota would give her a call once you guys have everything sorted out.”

“Uh, okay. I’ll let you know once everything has calmed down and they can swap numbers I guess.”

“Okay. That’s all then. Tengo que irme. Let me know if you guys need anything. Buenas noches, Em.”

“Goodnight. Viv.”

With furrowed brows, sent Abby a quick text explaining that we arrived at our hotel for the night, then pulled out my pajamas. As I changed I tried to think about why Ash had taken an interest in Kota. _Ever since she mentioned her dad. Ash seemed to know him so did_ he _do something?_

As I plugged my phone in for the night, Kota emerged from the bathroom.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, a concerned look in her eyes.

“Huh, oh, yeah. Just thinking about something Viv mentioned. It’s all good though.”

“Okay.” 

I watched as she crawled underneath the covers, where she wriggled in.

“I’ll be right back,” I said once she seemed settled. “Just gotta brush my teeth.”

I leaned over the bathroom sink, heaving a small sigh. _Just add that to the things to figure out._ I looked at my reflection in the mirror and a smile began to spread. _That and everything else can wait for now. Right now, it’s just me and Kota._

The brunette was already asleep by the time I joined her under the covers. My smile only grew as she instinctively snuggled against my side. I gave her one last kiss to the forehead and wrapped an arm around her.

_This is priority._


	5. Chapter 5

For the first time in days, I didn’t wake up early. Kota and I slept long after sunlight flooded the room. The only reason either of us got up at all was because of the incessant buzzing of my phone. I wished we could have been left in peace, Kota’s spine curved into my torso was probably the most comfortable Yang had ever been in all her lifetimes.

Groaning, I reached a hand back for the phone, answering it with the barest squint to make sure that I was pressing the right button. “‘Lo?”

 _“You haven’t texted me this morning!”_ Gods, I loved my sister, but Abby’s whine was grating on my eardrums.

“Sorry, slept in,” I grumbled. Kota opened a bleary eye through the hair that had draped across her face.

_“You musta been up late last night! It’s almost lunchtime over here.”_

“What?” I yelled, snapping my phone away from my ear to look at the time. 10:02 AM. “Oh, fuck.”

I clambered out of bed while Kota looked on, amused. “What is it?” she asked.

“Fuck, Abby, I’ll call you back in a bit. We’re gonna be late for check out.”

 _“Uh oh! Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Let me know when-”_ I hung up.

“We’re almost late for check out,” I groaned to Kota, pulling clothes out of my bag. “I still need to shower. We shoulda been on the road an hour ago.”

“Oh, shit.” Kota sounded unconcerned as she sat up, stretching her arms to her sides. She winced as the motion tugged at her shoulders. “Okay. You do that and I’ll make sure all our stuff is packed away.”

Despite my worry about running late, I stopped to smile at her. I was struck again by her beauty. The t-shirt she had borrowed had slipped to the side exposing one of her healing shoulders and her brown hair was a beautiful display of bed head. I wasn’t a swooning kind of woman, but Kota had me close to doing just that.

“I swear to God, if we didn’t have to check out…”

Kota smiled impishly. “We could always stay an extra day.”

“Don’t tempt me, woman.”

Somehow, we did manage to check out on time. The creep from the night before was gone, and a younger man was in his place. He was more interested in his phone than in checking them out.

“I bet we could have stayed longer,” I told Kota wistfully as we walked over to the truck. “It didn’t even look like he knew what time it was.”

“I didn’t know you were such a cuddler.” 

I hopped into the bed of her truck, tossing my bag into the storage box and pulling out a different one. “Me? You were the one who was all over me in the middle of the night!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining. It actually sounded like the opposite of complaining considering you were just as bad.”

I burst out laughing as I shut the box. “Fair enough. Here, can you take this? I want you to check to make sure if we’ve got all the supplies we’ll need for camping.”

“Camping?” Her eyebrows raised the slightest bit as she took the bag. “Are we going camping?”

“There’s a trail I can take the truck down. It’s supposed to have a nice view, so I thought we’d camp out tonight. I’ll set up the mattress, maybe we can roast some marshmallows… I can cook a mean stir fry on my little camping stove here.”

“And you can play me a song.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that good.”

But Kota had already gotten into the truck, ignoring my protests. I grimaced. I hadn’t even looked at the guitar in a few weeks, let alone practiced. I was already trying to think up some songs in my mind, trying to remember which songs wouldn’t be too difficult to play. It was easier to play for a bunch of drunks. Abby, Cheyenne, Aleisha, and Louis had always sung so loudly that sometimes, it was hard to even hear the guitar at all. Cheyenne, the only one who might have pointed out a bad chord, had always been more likely to yell at Louis for singing out of tune. Kota would be different.

Still, there were a couple of songs I might be able to get away with.

“Okay, this is gross.” Kota had already started pulling things out of the bag of camping gear. I squinted at the thing in her hand. It was brown, stiff, and stunk. She held it away from her, between her thumb and forefinger.

“Yeah, I think that’s one of Louis’s socks.” I wrinkled my nose. “I bet he thought my bag was his. They kinda look alike.”

“Mind if I just… toss it out the window?”

“I dunno… I’m kinda tempted to mail it to him.”

I might have even done that if it didn’t look like a biohazard. Instead, I stuffed it into the garbage bag. Heaving a hefty sigh, I tied it up, opened the back window, and tossed the plastic bag into the truck bed.

While I did that, Kota was back in the bag of gear. She pulled out a few crumpled paper maps of old trails, a couple of empty water bottles, a baseball cap, a bottle of sunscreen, sunglasses, a completely crushed granola bar, and a few pairs of clean socks.

“So we’ll need matches, more propane, bug spray…” I began to tick off the things we’d need to buy. Kota held up something small and red. 

“What’s this?”

“What? Oh!” I grinned, taking the thing and popping it open. “Dad’s old pocket knife. It’s pretty banged up, it’s so dull it couldn’t even cut butter now, but it’s fun to mess with it now and then.”

Kota leaned over. “It looks pretty old.”

I fiddled with the different tools. “It is. I think he got it when he was a Boy Scout.” I blushed a little. “When Abby and I were little we used to pretend this was treasure or just some old artifact. One of us would go ‘hide’ it and we’d go on some pretend adventure to find it.”

“That sounds amazing,” Kota said with a small laugh as I closed it.

“It was a lot of fun.” Fondly, I moved the knife around in my hand before handing it to Kota. “Here. I don’t really use this much, anyway. Maybe it can be your treasure.” I grinned.

It was cheesy, but in a way, I liked that Kota accepted it so easily. Maybe she needed something sentimental for herself, something to attach meaning to. Something that wasn’t an engagement ring, which I had stowed away for safekeeping. In the end, even if we were wrong about the universe and we drifted apart, it would be something to symbolize a time of finding freedom.

I didn’t expect to see a shine in Kota’s eyes, a screen of unshed tears.

“Thank you,” she said simply, tucking the knife into the pocket of her jeans. “Maybe you’ll find some treasure too,” she added in a softer voice as the tears began to fall.

I pulled her in, kissing the salty tears away before they could stain Kota’s cheeks. _She is even beautiful when she cries_ , I thought, amazed, as my lips moved down to meet hers. I always considered myself to be an ugly crier but Kota definitely wasn’t. That intrinsic beauty never left for even a moment. The salt of tears turned into the heady taste of cherry from her lips. She’d been using my chapstick and she’d probably have to use it again before we left the parking lot at the rate we were going.

Through the tears, Kota still returned the kiss with enthusiasm.

She was practically in my lap when we finally broke off. She snuggled into my arms and I found myself wondering again if it might be better to just stay here for one more night. Kota felt too good in my arms. It felt too comfortable…

My phone buzzed. Of course my fucking phone would buzz again.

Groaning, I reached for it, not surprised to see Abby’s picture popping up. Kota didn’t bother moving, nor did I particularly want her to. She answered.

“Hey, Abby, we’ll be out of here in just a few minutes.”

_“Em?”_

My blood ran cold. “Oh, hey, Dad.”

I hesitated, but I Kota perk up at my words. _Walls need to come down_. I put the phone on speaker.

_“It’s so good to hear your voice!”_

“Dad, why are you using Abby’s phone?” To keep myself calm I brushed Kota’s bangs to the side and ran a hand through her hair. Her hair was so smooth, so soft, so soothing.

 _“I knew you weren’t going to answer if I used my own.”_

I closed my eyes, focusing on the hair that flowed around my fingers. “I’ll see you in a few days. Can’t it wait?”

 _“Well, Abby says you’ll be a little later than we thought. And you’re bringing someone?”_ My hand tightened into a fist, not tight enough to hurt, but it would be enough for Kota to understand the tension. She laid a hand on my thigh comfortingly.

“Yeah. It’s not like I’m meeting a deadline or anything. I’ll be there when I get there.”

_“Well, you haven’t answered my calls for a week. I just wanted to check in on you, make sure everything’s going okay.”_

“Yeah, everything’s good.” _Or, at least it was till you called._ “I’d let you know if there was anything big.”

_“I know. I guess I can’t help being a worried dad.”_

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Kota was looking up at me, intent on every motion I made, every breath I took.

“Yeah, I’ve heard.”

An awkward silence spread into the void between them. If it weren’t for Kota’s touch I didn’t know if I could stay calm. Worried dad, he said. _What a fucking joke._ He hadn’t been worried the day that I had stormed out of the house for the last time. He hadn’t worried in the years I’d been gone. Now he was trying to be a dad in my life again, and I could have punched a hole in the truck’s window.

_“I already told you I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you want from me, Em.”_

I didn’t know what to say. Instead, I bit my lip.

_“The sooner you get here, the sooner you’ll see that things are different. I know I messed up. But we can fix this, we-”_

I hung up.

My heart raced as I set my phone down in the cupholder. Kota was still looking up at me with wide eyes.

“Em,” she said, unsure. “You’re… bleeding.”

My teeth were buried in my lip, and only now was I aware of the pain there. I forced my jaw to release, and I touched my lip with a finger. Sure enough, there was blood.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, wiping it. “I guess my lips are dryer than I thought.” I said this even though I still tasted chapstick on them. 

Kota sat herself up slowly. 

“I’m not… used to talking to him that much these days,” I told her, pulling my lower lip in and pressing my tongue on the place I’d bitten. “He’s always trying to make things up to me. That’s why he’s paying for my hotel rooms, for my gas money… But he doesn’t fucking get it. We didn’t talk for almost two years! And now he’s just expecting things are going to be back to normal…”

I shook my head, then grabbed a hair tie from the collection around the windshield wiper lever. I pulled my hair up, more to get the nervous energy out of my system than anything else. Kota’s hand found its place back on my thigh. I sighed then covered it with my own hand.

“Sorry. I’m… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” She turned her palm to hold my hand. She squeezed. “It’ll be okay.”

“Always with you.” I made myself smile, for Kota if for nothing else. “Things will always be okay with you.”

\-----

It was closer to lunch by the time we actually got on the road so we stopped for a burger before leaving town. If we were planning on getting to the trail before dark we’d need to take our food to go. When we got closer we could stop at a grocery store to grab what we needed for stir fry and s’mores.

“What do you like in your stir fry?” I asked. We were listening to the radio for once, listening to something a little more modern than Foo Fighters or Sublime. Kota bobbed her head with the beat, thinking.

“I like peppers. No, _bell_ peppers, smartass. Oh, definitely garlic-”

“And you expect me to kiss you?”

Kota smirked. “Consider it a test.”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re a cruel one.”

In the end, we settled on bell peppers, onions, garlic, broccoli, carrots, and beef. Kota set about making a shopping list as I thought of more things we’d need.

“Graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate… Oh, tinfoil and biscuit dough.”

“Biscuit dough?”

“We’re going to make doughboats!” I smacked the steering wheel in enthusiasm. “Oh, shit, and you know what? I’ll make us breakfast in the morning. So let’s get some eggs, butter, bread…”

“Slow down!” Kota laughed, scribbling as fast as she could on the scrap paper she’d dug up. “I didn’t know you were a cook.”

“Are you kidding? Remember when we were at my cousin’s? I know my way around a kitchen.”

She looked down the list, then frowned. “So, what exactly is a doughboat?”

“I’ll show you when we make ‘em!.” I thought for a minute, then added, “And bananas. Might as well do a bananaboat, too.”

“Are you making this up?”

“Dakota Myers!” I sang the full name that came out of my mouth, articulating each syllable with flourish. It sounded like the name of a beautiful, mysterious woman. How fitting. “I would never make up something as serious as a bananaboat.”

\-----

Since we were pressed for time we didn’t stop at the few tourist traps we passed by. I was sorely tempted to pull into an alligator sanctuary but the idea of having Kota all to myself under the stars tempted me more. _Keep your eye on the prize,_ I kept reminding myself as we passed the exit where the alligator sanctuary was. _It will be worth it tonight._

When we stopped at a grocery store in the late afternoon I had seven texts from Abby ranging from defiant to apologetic to depressed.

_Abby 4:56 pm > ur not mad, right??? _

“Well, are you?” Kota asked, grabbing a cart.

I let out an unnecessarily loud exhale. “Not really. She’s a fixer. She hates it when anyone fights. But I can’t be mad at her.”

I grabbed the end of the cart pulling it out of the brunette’s reach. “I can take this.”

“Maybe you are polite after all.” She grinned.

“Ouch. You ever doubted me?” 

I led her through the produce section. The programmer took care of grabbing the proper vegetables, getting them pre sliced when available, crossing them off her list as we went.

When we got to the bananas, I grabbed a full bunch, insisting that they’d be good road trip food in addition to using them in bananaboats.

“I don’t think I can eat that many bananas,” Kota told me with a laugh.

“Then I will!”

I had to keep reminding myself that there were only two of us on this camping trip, but it didn’t stop me from loading up the cart with too much chocolate and marshmallows. I considered getting a case of beer but I didn’t want to be drunk tonight. Being around Kota was intoxicating enough.

As Kota looked over a carton of eggs, I pulled my phone back out.

To Abby 5:37 pm > im not mad. just dont let him use your phone again.

Abby’s response was immediate.

_Abby 5:38 pm > ok. hes just been really sad and im kinda sick of it _

I slid the phone back into my pocket. When I looked up I found brown eyes watching me.

“Everything all right?” she asked.

“Dad’s been guilting Abby about all this, I think. Gods, I wish he’d leave her out of it.”

We were silent as we made our way to the cash register. I shed my sulkiness long enough to make polite small talk with the cashier.

My small cooler was just big enough for the things that needed to be kept cool. I was still dwelling on my exchange with Abby, now feeling guilty for my role in my sister’s discomfort.

It had been Abby, after all, who’d tried to convince me to stay in Florida after the fallout. She’d been the only one who tried to get me to stay. Even when our dad had taken the side of the woman he was seeing, putting me down to try and earn extra points with his girlfriend, Abby had always been the one who tried to get everyone to get along. Of course she would do what she thought was right when it came to repairing the relationship between father and daughter, even if it wasn’t her place to do so.

“D’you wanna just sit with me for a minute?” Kota asked. 

I snapped out of my reverie. I’d put the keys in the ignition but hadn’t started the truck. How long I’d been like that, I couldn’t say.

“Oh, sorry.” I started the truck. I hesitated then admitted, “I was still thinking about Abby.”

Kota held out a hand. “Sit with me.”

I did, taking her hand and sliding closer. The contact was enough to slow the whirring in my brain to a distant hum. She lowered me down, guiding my head onto her lap. Just a few nights ago, we’d been almost in this same position, me catching a power nap with Kota’s hand on my side. This time, her hand smoothed out the hair that had escaped my ponytail.

It was so easy, how being here could make all of my worries turn to dust.

“We can’t really stay like this all day,” I said after a few minutes, yet not moving. 

Kota continued to stroke my hair. “We can stay as long as you like.”

“Maybe once we make it up to the campsite. There’s supposed to be a great view of the sunset there.”

“Sounds romantic.” 

I flushed as I forced myself to sit back up. “Well, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten an excuse to be dorky and romantic.”

“I’m not complaining. I’m kinda looking forward to having someone make me dinner.” Kota folded an arm back, scratching absently at her shoulder. “We’ve been eating nothing but fast food. Though Viv’s enchiladas were amazing.”

I buckled my seat belt. “Dakota Myers, prepare to be wowed.”

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I honked the horn as a smaller car cut me off. “Learn to drive, asshole!” I yelled, making Kota laugh.

It always made her laugh, whenever I flared up with road rage. Somehow, this laughter kept me from ruminating in my own anger. It relaxed me. Kota was the balm my temper needed.

“So did, uh… he not cook for you?” I asked, carefully avoiding Trystan’s actual name.

“We mostly ate out or ordered in. I’m not much of a cook so we had a lot of take out and _lots_ of cereal.” The brunette shrugged. “The only time I ever got to eat eggs was when we went out for breakfast, which wasn’t very often since Trystan isn’t a morning person.”

“So this’ll be a nice change!” I announced. She nodded, smiling slightly. “You’ll be spoiled rotten by the time I’m done with you.”

“Oh yeah?” Kota’s smile grew by the barest amount. “I’m not already?”

“I’m just getting started, baby.” I patted her thigh, then pulled my sunglasses on.

\-----

A little over an hour later, where trees began to grow thick, I found the spot I was looking for. I almost missed it, the dirt road was well hidden by trees. It was one of the things I liked about this trail when I had looked it up online. On a weekday, I hoped the remote location and the fact that it was more hidden than other nearby trails meant that there wouldn’t be many others out here.

The road was pretty well maintained, so I was able to afford to sneak a few glances at Kota, who was looking in wonder at the tall, green trees. Birds flew away as the truck drove past them and she watched them all go.

I found the trail I was looking for. It was used enough to be worn, but it was a far cry from the dirt road we were on. I grinned, shifting gears as I steered the truck up the hill. Kota didn’t make a sound but she did grasp the handle over her head in alarm. We bumped around as we ascended, me navigating the trail carefully not to hit any surprise rocks or trees.

At one particularly hard bump, Kota started to laugh. “This is insane!”

“This is nothing. You shoulda seen some of the ones in the Rockies.”

The ride itself was short and relatively easy, though steep. Kota had let go of the handle once she got a feel for ride, opting to stare out the window with wide eyes. I regaled her with stories from more difficult offroading trails, like when I got a flat in the middle of the trail and couldn’t find the jack. I needed to be helped by another friendly couple that passed by. I felt validated when she laughed in all the right places, including the part where Abby had insisted on running ahead to look for help.

“I found her, like, a full mile down the trail!” I said, grinning. “She wanted to save the day, so she was pissed when we picked her up. I couldn’t believe she’d gotten so far so fast, especially since we got help almost the minute she ran off.”

“At least she’s helpful?”

“She tries. Oh, this looks like a good spot.” I pulled the truck onto a long stretch of dirt and rock. The dirt turned to grass, and wildflowers bloomed under the wide sky. We both hopped out, admiring the view. It wasn’t nearly as high up as the mountains I’d been on before, but the view was pretty enough. The land sloped low before us and I made out trees and rocks, and, further down, several broad streams. Pink was beginning to tinge the sky around us.

“It’s beautiful,” Kota said softly, staring all around her. “This is nothing like Dallas or Oklahoma.”

“These are the kind of views I chase,” I replied, though I was looking not at the land before us, but at Kota. I moved closer to slink an arm around her waist. She leaned into me at the touch, resting her head in the crook of my neck.

For a few minutes, we stayed like that, enjoying the view and the warmth the other provided. I wrapped my other arm around her as well, content just to have her in my arms. For all the turmoil my life had given me, I’d never known as much peace as the past few days had brought me.

“We should… set up camp. While we’ve still got some sun,” I announced regretfully. 

Kota nodded, then pulled away. “What do we do?”

We pulled the storage box out of the truck bed and I set about inflating the mattress while Kota took out the small camp stove, the propane, and the food. I was glad I had so many blankets, though it was early summer nights were still bound to be a little cool.

“What do I do with this?” Kota asked, holding up the small can of propane.

“You set it down and leave it alone.”

“But I can-”

“Nope.” I hopped down from the truck bed. “I trust you, but not that much.”

Kota huffed in irritation but didn’t mess with the propane. Instead, she busied herself with straightening the blankets on the air mattress while I set up the camp stove. I put the pan over the flames and, when I turned around, I was surprised to see Kota holding the guitar case.

“You owe me a song,” she said simply.

“After dinner.” I shook my head hard enough to make her hair bounce, then turned back to the stove.

Dinner was ready when the sun had partially dipped over the horizon. Kota was spread out a blanket in the grass where we would have a front row seat to the sunset.

“Gotta say,” she said, taking the small paper plate I handed her, “for all the cheesiness, this is probably the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.” I sat beside her, spreading my legs out to one side while keeping close to Kota on the other. “How is it?”

She was still chewing and I laughed as she tried to chew faster to answer the question.

“Don’t choke on my account! Take your time.” I took a bite of my own stir fry. It was definitely a winning meal and I wasn’t afraid to think so. The brunette nodded furiously.

“It’s really good!”

“Told ya I could cook.” I smirked as I took another bite. Kota poked me in the side and we both laughed.

“I love your modesty. It’s so refreshing.”

“Bite me, Myers.”

We sat there even after we finished eating, catching the last of the sun’s rays. I set our plates beside us and offered a stick of gum to Kota. The garlic had been delicious in the stir fry but it might ruin other moments between us. I chewed my own fiercely as I laid back on the blanket. The programmer fell back beside me and I could hear the soft rustle of the grass bending beneath her.

“Really. This is the best date I’ve ever had,” she told me after a while. Stars started to glitter their way across the sky, twinkle by twinkle.

“And the night’s still young!” I replied with a grin. “We still have all sorts of desserts to make.”

“And songs to sing,” she insisted. “I’m not letting you off the hook on this one.”

I groaned before sitting up. “Fine, fine. Can I at least tune the damn thing first?”

“I suppose.” Kota stretched, then scratched at her shoulder. I made myself get up, taking our garbage to the truck and grabbing the guitar.

I spent more time tuning it than I really needed to. It was easy to act tough about playing but actually having the guitar in hand was another matter. It was always so easy to goof around with my guitar when it was just Abby and our friends. But with Kota… _I have to get this right._

I played a few chords as softly as I could trying to gauge if I was even in a key that I was comfortable singing in. Then I tried a few more.

“You can’t still be tuning!” Kota called out.

I looked up, back to where she was sitting. The smaller woman had turned, her intent look an obvious dare. With a backdrop of stars, she could have been a small goddess. It nearly had me on my knees

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” I tried to push back my nervousness. “Be nice, I haven’t played for anyone in a long time. Especially sober.”

“Whatever you play now would probably be better than I could ever manage,” she pointed out with an easy smile.

I sat beside her, finding a comfortable position before starting to strum. “Well, this is how it starts, two lovers in the dark on the run from the one that they called Sheriff Spark. Six guns by their side and bullets around their waist. Two shots to the sky signal sound for the chase.”

Though my voice started shaky, seeing the light that popped into Kota’s eyes made it easier. _She knows this song._

“And now that we've arrived so safely, baby you can lay me down.” After I played out the last chords, Kota started clapping.

“You _can_ sing, after all!” she declared.

I laughed. My hands trembled as I set the guitar across my lap. Kota took one of my hands between her own, stroking it gently until the tremors ceased.

“I always thought it was kind of a funny song. A couple that deeply in love that they were willing to kill for each other. But now it seems…” 

“Not so absurd?”

“Something like that.” I drummed my free fingers on the guitar, only stopping when Kota kissed the fingertips she held. “I should’ve brought beer or something. I would’ve poured one out for my Bonnie and Clyde couple.”

She rolled her eyes, releasing my hand. “You wouldn’t have wasted a beer on that.”

“I dunno. I’ve been doing a lot of things I never thought I’d do.” I picked the guitar back up, feeling more confident now that I had luck with the first song. “Here, I’ll play one more then we can have some dessert.”

I closed my eyes, trying to remember just how this one went. I strummed a few chords, frowning when it didn’t sound quite right. This was one I hadn’t sung very often. I didn’t care much for cheesy love songs, but this one had a rightness to it that I would never have dared imagine for any other person.

“I thought you didn’t like this song,” Kota said as I found my way to the right chords. The full moon reflected in those brown eyes, nearly making me forget _all_ the chords.

“I never said I didn’t like it. I just…” I closed my eyes, working my fingers into the right position for another half forgotten chord. “It was never right. Until now.”

In my periphery I saw her nod, understanding what I meant as the lyrics tumbled from my mouth. The more I played the more my fingers remembered where to go. It was almost like something possessed them.

“Look around your world pretty baby, is it everything you hoped it'd be? The wrong guy, the wrong situation. The right time to roll to me”

Kota had gone completely still.

“Look into your heart pretty baby, is it aching with some nameless need? Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it? Right then, roll to me.”

I was lost in a trance. I would have said that I was completely lost in the music, but it wasn’t just the music. I was lost in Kota. Absolutely, completely, and utterly lost.

My fingers slowed and the song finished. I closed my eyes, listening to the last chord fade away. Whatever had come of me was damn near a religious experience and I could almost empathize with people who told me that they’d found the Lord. My heart might have even stopped beating and I wouldn’t have noticed. It was too deep and I was drawing in whatever this was.

“Holy shit,” Kota murmured. 

I opened my eyes. “You feel it, too?”

She stared at me. I could almost count stars in her eyes, knowing damn well that eyes couldn’t reflect the stars in the night sky. But there were stars in Kota’s and I knew them. We were old friends, after all, reunited after lives and generations and universes. My mouth had gone dry.

“Yes,” she said at last. Her eyes had locked on mine, perhaps counting her own stars. “I do.”

She got up, somewhat shakily, to lean over the guitar that I clutched like a lifeline. She brushed her lips over mine and I was overcome once again by the feeling that these were lips I knew, deep in my soul. There were still so many unknowns. I didn’t even know her birthday. But there _was_ enough that I _did_ know, things that were just inherent. We were bound, in some way, in some wild cosmic way. I returned the kiss. _This,_ at least, was something I did know.

\-----

Kota, as it turned out, did not like doughboats. She didn’t like bananaboats, either. She watched skeptically as I stretched out some biscuit dough and filled it with marshmallows and chocolate, wrapped it in tinfoil, and stuck it onto the stove.

“That looks disgusting,” she commented. A pained look crossed her face as I gave a banana the same treatment, cramming as much chocolate and as many marshmallows as I could into slices I had made. “Like, seriously. I can feel my teeth rotting out of my head already.”

“C’mon, you haven’t even given them a chance!” I complained. She agreed to a bite from each, but not even a bite could redeem the sweet desserts. I offered to make a new doughboat, considering I’d cooked it unevenly, but Kota put her foot down.

“Nothing could redeem that thing,” the programmer insisted.

“Aw, you’re no fun. Abby could eat as many doughboats as there are biscuits in the can!” I chomped into the doughboat, burnt bits and all. A gooey mess of chocolate and marshmallow dribbled down my chin before I could stop it.

After the doughboat and bananaboat, I couldn’t stomach the thought of s’mores, but I roasted marshmallows with Kota all the same. Her s’mores were very neat, almost dainty. There was a careful method to the way she slid the marshmallow onto the graham cracker. She even toasted the marshmallows to a perfect, crispy gold.

I, however, swung my stick away from the camp stove when my marshmallow caught fire, cackling before I blew it out.

“Do you have to do that every time?” Kota asked mildly as I blew out my second charred marshmallow.

“Of course!”

I spent a lot longer than usual brushing my teeth that night, using a water bottle to wet the toothbrush and rinse. My only regret about camping in remote areas was the lack of a shower, but in the woods, it almost didn’t matter as much. As long as I could get the sugar out of my teeth I’d be downright happy. I had eaten so much that I thought I was going to pop.

“I don’t know how Abby can eat so much fucking sugar all the time!” I complained after I finished brushing. “She could seriously live off cookies.”

“I thought you had a sweet tooth? I recall you mentioning at some point,” Kota said innocently after she spat out her own toothpaste. 

My grin was predatory. “Is that a challenge, Myers?”

She said nothing, only smiled that little smile. I threw my arms around her, not as fiercely as I might have, given the sunburn and my overstuffed stomach, but it was more about wanting to just hold the woman again. Kota laughed, her own arms going around my middle.

“Easy,” I warned, “You do remember that I just stuffed myself with marshmallows?”

“I won’t squeeze too hard,” she replied with a chuckle. Sure enough, her grip was light.

Cleaning up the things from dinner and dessert helped settle my stomach. _After all, activity helps digestion, or something like that._ I made sure that not a trace of us would be left behind when we departed the next morning, making sure every wrapper had been picked up.

“It’s not just for the environment!” I told Kota, tying up the plastic bag we were using for garbage. “I don’t want to attract bears.”

“Bears? Are there really bears here?” She looked startled, looking around as if there might be some hiding in the nearby trees. 

I shrugged. “Maybe!”

“Then why aren’t we, like… in a tent or something?”

“Do you really think a tent would stop a bear?” I grinned. Kota narrowed her eyes as I started to laugh. “Honestly, I don’t think a bear will show up. But if one does… I’ll fight it off.”

I mimed a punch and Kota rolled her eyes.

“If a bear eats us tonight, I’m going to follow you down to hell and kick your ass.”

“Nah. If anything is eating you tonight, it’ll be me.”

“Emily.” Kota covered her face to hide her blush. It was so cute, the way she tried to act so affronted.

We clambered into the bed of the truck to lay back on the air mattress. Limited storage space meant that I only ever had one flat pillow on hand which we both managed to fit at least a part of our heads onto. We wiggled into each other’s space, fitting together with such ease that we might have done it all our lives.

“So, do you know your constellations?” I asked, brushing a hand along Kota’s spine.

“Some, I guess. Big Dipper, Little Dipper…” She tipped her head back, and I found myself staring at the bared neck rather than the stars overhead. “But I can’t really say I know the others. What about you?”

“I’m not an expert, but I think I’m a little better than just the Dippers.” I pointed overhead. “Cygnus, the Swan. Hercules…”

“You’re pointing them out as if I knew where they were,” she commented dryly.

I bit my lip, opened my mouth to point out a particular star, then sighed. “I might have to show you on a star map, or something. There’s only so many ways I can say ‘five stars to the right of the North Star…’”

“And straight on till morning, right?”

“No, that’s the second star to the right! Man, no wonder I never saw you in Neverland.”

This made Kota laugh. “To be fair, though, I don’t know if I would’ve liked living there.”

“How come?”

“I don’t think I would’ve liked to become one of the Lost Boys or something. I like that I’ve grown up. And enjoy adult things.”

I felt my face redden, even though she couldn’t see it. “Good point.”

We enjoyed the silence for a few minutes, Kota’s hand creeping up and down my side. I had shut my phone off and the only sounds we could hear were the wind in the trees and the occasional hoot of an owl. That and our own breathing.

“I haven’t been camping with anyone since Abby visited me in LA,” I admitted. Kota’s hand stopped moving, resting palm down on my waist.

“Oh?”

“She visited me for a couple weeks. That was the last time I saw her in person, actually. We went out with friends one weekend, but the other weekend, we went up alone into the mountains. It was a good time.”

“I bet. Will… Will I get to meet her?”

“Of course, baby.” My hold around her tightened. “She’s pretty excited to meet you. Remind me tomorrow to get a selfie of the two of us together so I can send it to her. I’m pretty sure she isn’t convinced that you’re real.” I paused. “I’m still not sure of that myself.”

Kota’s thumb drifted down over the edge of my waist, caressing the muscles lightly. “I could still be an alien,” she agreed. “I’m just waiting to be beamed up to my home planet.”

“Aha! You admit it!” I shot up, moving too quickly for her to fight me and pinning her underneath me. Her laughter rang out as I started to tickle her. “I knew you were playing me this whole time! You’re way too smart to be human!”

“You- You caught me!” Kota gasped, trying to squirm out from under me. She still giggled, even when I stopped the tickling. For a heartbeat, we grinned at each other.

And then I was kissing her.

The kiss wasn’t nearly as long as either of us might have liked, but I had a romantic plan I wanted to accomplish while out in the wilderness. I took out my phone and we huddled beneath the blankets, trying to match online star maps with what we saw in the sky above us.

“And that’s the Summer Triangle,” I said, looking quickly back at my phone and then back up into the sky. “Vega, Deneb, Altair.”

“I know they’re supposed to be the brightest stars, but I still don’t know if the ones I’m looking at are the right ones.” Kota cocked her head, resting it on my shoulder.

“Are you kidding? None of them are the brightest stars,” I said, aware of how corny I was about to sound. “You’re the brightest star in my sky, Kota.”

“Stop,” she said, poking me in the side. “You’re ridiculous.”

I shut my phone back off. I had a couple missed texts from Abby, replies from the earlier message that we’d be camping that night. The responses were silly and slightly suggestive. I wouldn’t dignify them with a response.

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Kota asked, snuggling closer into my arms.

“If we start early enough, we should make it to Georgia before it gets too dark.”

“Already?” Kota sounded surprised. “It feels like we were just in Arizona.”

“We’ve been doing a lot of driving,” I replied. “Or have you forgotten that?”

“Shut up.” She nuzzled her face into my chest. She took a deep breath, then another one. Sensing the brunette was trying to find words to speak, I said nothing. “Do you really think I’m smart?”

“I do. I mean, hell, I’m no good with computers or any of that so the fact that you can do all of that stuff is amazing. Plus just listening to you talk. You’re very logical about things. You’re certainly a lot smarter than me.”

I could hear the gears in her head turning so, once again, I kept silent. “I’m… not used to feeling like this.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“I… I don’t know. Safe?”

 _Loved?_ I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. That would have been way too much, way too fast. Not that everything else hadn’t been, but saying the word out loud might have been too real. It might have brought us both back down to reality, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk that.

“When I was with… Trystan… I never felt like this. Not even once, not even when we were first dating, not even when we were friends.”

“Why did you stay with him?” I asked gently. I felt Kota’s expression change on my skin, but I couldn’t see what it became.

“He… I don’t know. I thought… He was smart. Like, he had everything figured out. And he did so much to be with me… I was just kind of… I don’t know. I got swept away by all the romantic things he did for me. He bought me flowers, he took me to fancy restaurants… But by the time I truly saw his temper, it was too late.” She sighed, a small, regretful sound, as she leaned back, tracing the scar one the back of her right hand. “By then, I was too afraid to leave. Or, not even that… He’d have weeks of being almost like a good boyfriend and I could almost forget the bad times. But then I’d say or do something and he’d snap.”

My grip on her tightened as she nuzzled back into me. “Oh, baby,” I murmured. “I’m so sorry.”

“But I’m not going back.” Though Kota was quiet, she sounded determined. “I’ve already said that I’m not going to leave you, and I meant it. You… You’ve been so different.”

I remembered my promise to a sleeping Kota, the one I made just day sago. No one would ever hurt her again.

By gods, that was a promise I was going to keep.

“It’s like…” Kota began, but her words trailed off. I rubbed circles into her back, and I felt her eyes close. “It’s just right,” she finally said. “As right as, like… the fucking stars.”

“Kota,” I whispered.

“And now that we’re here… now I can see how wrong it was to be with Trystan in the first place. You’ve…” She waved a hand. “Put everything in perspective.”

I had to kiss her again. I had to. Every word she said was right. Even if I’d never been in a bad relationship like the one Kota had been in, perspective was the perfect word. Everything in my life had been slightly off kilter, not quite on target. Meeting Kota had been the first time I’d ever known certainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually got the next five or so chapters written too so they'll probably get posted sooner than I originally planned. I don't know though. We'll see.
> 
> Songs:  
> Lay Me Down - The Dirty Heads  
> Roll To Me - Del Amitri


	6. Chapter 6

We drifted in and out of sleep until the sun was shining too brightly for us to do so. Even then, I firmly buried my face in the pillow, which I had somehow stolen the whole thing from Kota, and whined about the sun.

“You’re such a baby,” Kota muttered. I turned my head enough so I could watch her movements with one eye. She was sitting up now, a blanket wrapped around her. “Can I check your phone? To see the time?” she asked.

“Mhm.” I planted my face fully back into the pillow.

After a moment, I heard giggles. “Abby sent you, like, fourteen texts.”

“Ugh, are you kidding?” I sat up, leaning over to look at my phone. Sure enough, there were exactly fourteen new messages. At my nod, Kota scrolled through them, eyebrows raised. The corners of her mouth twitched.

“She’s funny,” she commented, while I covered my face in embarrassment after reading her last text.

_Abby 10:28 pm > ur probably doing something unholy to that air mattress i gave u, so im praying for u _

“I never should have told her we were camping,” I complained.

“When do I get to talk to her?” Kota asked, her eyes flicking up. 

I shrugged as I stretched my arms. “Do you want to talk to her?”

“I have to say, I am curious. She seems so charming.” That made me snort. Kota chuckled before adding, “Just like you.”

“I’m not sure if I should feel complimented or offended,” I remarked as I slipped out of the bed. “How about we call her as I make breakfast? How do you like your eggs, by the way?”

“Scrambled is fine.” Kota snuggled back into the blankets and grabbed the pillow that I had been monopolizing.

“If you fall back asleep and your eggs get cold, you can’t blame me.” She only stuck her tongue out. “Here, this will wake you up.” I paused in fishing out the breakfast supplies to bring my phone to my ear. “Hey, Abby.”

 _“You’re alive!”_ Abby’s voice was loud even without the speaker phone. I winced, pulled the phone away, and turned the speaker on so that Kota could hear. _“Did you get all my texts?”_

“I did, and you’re a bit of a psychopath,” I said, grinning up at Kota, who had rolled over to watch the phone conversation. “Can’t I be allowed one night without my little sister harassing me?”

_“Well, you did turn your phone off, so you got one.”_

“Not that you didn’t try to butt in!”

_“But I didn't!”_

“Couldn’t.” I could see Kota was losing interest as she started to lean back into the blankets. “Hey, Abby, wanna talk to Kota?”

I heard the brunette groan, but it was almost drowned out by Abby’s yell. _“That’s your girlfriend, right?”_

Kota flipped me off and I replied with a wink and a blown kiss.

“Okay, I need to make breakfast, but here’s Kota!” I hurried over, handing off the phone before she could object. Abby was shrieking already. 

As I cooked, I listened to the conversation with interest. Abby had never been shy, and she launched into a full interrogation as soon as I passed the phone over.

I almost felt sorry for Kota. Somehow, she was able to avoid answering the more personal questions, especially when she discovered that Abby was an incredibly easy person to redirect. Questions about how we met were dismissed and turned into questions about Abby’s own life.

 _“Oh, no, definitely not!”_ Abby laughed when asked if she was dating anyone herself. _“I’m too busy for that kind of thing, y’know? Well, I was until I graduated, anyway, but now I’ve got other stuff to worry about. Did she tell you that I studied physics?”_

I grinned as I scrambled a batch of eggs. Kota was sitting up again, her eyes focused on me as she listened to my sister attempt to explain the things she wanted to study. Somehow, Kota was able to keep up enough with the explanations that she was able to ask Abby better questions than I could even come up with.

By the time I slid Kota her plate of eggs and toast, they had moved on to talking about the programmer’s own studies. Abby had never been into coding, but Kota probably wouldn’t have guessed that based on Abby’s enthusiastic questions about the things she'd programmed.

 _“So how did you meet?”_ Abby asked, pouncing on my arrival. _“Kota was really vague about it!”_

“It’s a long story,” I told her, sighing. “We’ll tell you when we get to Miami.”

 _“_ If _you get to Miami.”_ A trace of whine found its way back into my sister’s voice. _“I’m starting to think you’re never gonna get here.”_

“Of course we will!” I looked up at Kota, who was stacking some of her eggs on her toast. “I miss you.”

 _“And I miss you, too,”_ Abby replied, resigned. _“Are… are you going slow because of Dad, too?”_

I bit my lip, then looked over at Kota. Her egg topped toast was halfway to her mouth. She blinked those brown eyes then took a bite.

“I… I don’t know.” I looked down. Maybe I was using Kota as an excuse to slow the trip down. I wondered what I might be doing if I hadn’t found her. “Things are just… complicated for us. It… It was always different for you, Abby.”

 _“And I wish it hadn’t been.”_ A pause. _“You didn’t do anything wrong back then and I wish Dad could’ve seen that sooner. He was just…”_

“Yeah. I know.” My own eggs were getting cold.

_“But… he knows now. You don’t have to forgive him… but I think just talking would really go a long way. For both of you.”_

“It’s too early for this,” I muttered. 

Abby laughed weakly. _“Yeah, well… maybe it wouldn’t feel so early if you didn’t stay up so late.”_

“We didn’t stay up that late!” I protested. Kota choked on her food and started coughing. Abby giggled.

 _“Whatever you say!”_ I rolled my eyes at Kota, who had managed to quell her coughing fit. _“Okay, I need to go now, but call me later, okay? I’d love to talk to Kota again!”_

“You too!” Kota said before taking a fresh bite of her toast.

“Only if you behave yourself,” I warned. “I don’t need you scaring her away.”

_“Hah! If you haven’t scared her away already, then nothing will!”_

Before I could come up with a retort, Abby hung up. Kota smirked as she chewed and only now did I remember my own breakfast. I dug into my eggs, hoping they weren’t too cold.

“She’s just like I thought,” Kota remarked. “She’s very charming.”

“You did really well with her!” I said after I swallowed. “She’s… not so good about boundaries, and I know sometimes she asks questions she shouldn’t really be asking, but she’s-”

“Charming,” Kota said firmly, then smiled. “I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

We continued to eat in silence. If we had any hope of getting through a few more states we couldn’t linger long. I was desperate for a little coffee as well. Usually, Abby or Cheyenne were the ones who took care of keeping everyone caffeinated, but I had spaced out on it this time. _I was a little preoccupied with other things_ , I told myself, watching as Kota finished her last bite of egg.

“Have I mentioned how nice it is to have someone make me breakfast?” she sighed, putting her plate down.

“I’ll make you breakfasts whenever you want them!” I promised, giving her a wink. “I don’t half ass things when I cook.”

“So I’ve gathered so far.”

I shoveled the last bit of my eggs into my mouth then took her plate. “If we’re all done with food, I’m going to start packing up the stove and everything. Maybe we can find another place to camp at some point before we get to Miami.”

“I’d like that.” Her smile was nearly enough to send me into cardiac arrest, but somehow, I survived.

When I returned, I had a bottle of lotion in hand. I saw the way Kota scratched at her shoulders. The skin was still tender and it was peeling enough to make her uncomfortable. Kota reached a hand out for it, but I kept it just out of reach.

“Really? After all of this, you want to moisturize yourself?” I asked, amused. Kota’s smile seemed almost shy as if I hadn’t seen her bare back already.

“Fine. You better behave though,” she said, trying to sound severe as she turned her back to me.

“Oh, not at all.” I laughed as she slipped her shirt off, using the blanket to cover her chest. 

For the most part, I did behave. I worked the lotion not only into the damaged skin on her shoulders and neck but onto the healthy skin of her back. _Completely for Kota’s benefit, of course_ , I convinced myself. She sighed, visibly relaxing with a slump of her shoulders and sinking of her spine.

I was almost regretful when I ran out of skin. But we needed to get back on the road. 

Without coffee, I wasn’t as full of conversation as I might have been, so packing was a quiet affair. With a heave, we lifted the storage box back into the truck bed, settling it back into place.

“We’ll stay at a hotel tonight,” I assured Kota as we got into the cab of the truck. “We can shower, enjoy a real bed… The night after, we can camp out somewhere again, weather willing.”

“And then Miami?”

I nodded, putting my sunglasses on. “Maybe we’ll go to a hotel the night before we go h- back to Dad’s place. So we can shower and not stink. And maybe come up with a game plan. He’d think I was crazy if I told him that my girlfriend was a hitchhiker I picked up on the way.”

“He wouldn’t be wrong,” she pointed out. “You are pretty crazy.”

“And what does that make you?”

For a minute, we just looked at each other, grinning. For all our supposed craziness, nothing could have felt more sane. There was be no way in hell we could describe this, what we felt, in words to anyone without sounding like characters in a cheap romance novel. Kota scooted closer and I pushed my shades up. I wrapped her arms around her, drinking in her kiss.

The ride going down was only a little more exciting than coming up. Feeling a little reckless, I pushed the speed a little faster than I normally would, earning her a string of curses from Kota. The entire ride down, Kota clutched the oh shit handle for dear life.

“Dammit, Emily!” she yelped after a particularly hard bump. I could only laugh and laugh.

We were none the worse for wear when we got back to the dirt road. Kota relaxed her hold on the handle to make the sign of the cross.

“I didn’t know you were religious!” I said, still laughing.

“I’m not, but if I keep hanging around you I should probably pick a God pretty quickly if I have any hope of going somewhere pleasant.”

“I thought we already decided we were going to hell?”

“You might’ve accepted your fate, Emily Bolton, but I’m still hoping I can escape eternal damnation.” 

\-----

At the first gas station we approached, I pulled in for my coffee fix. _Coffee is truly God’s gift to man_ , I thought as I pulled up to one of the gas pumps.

“Want anything?” I asked Kota as I swiped my card. It was more ritual to ask this question as she had never taken me up on it before. So I was surprised when this time Kota nodded.

“If they’ve got tea, I’d love some, if that’s okay.”

I had no idea if gas stations sold tea, but by gods, I’d find some tea even if it meant hunting down boxes in the storage room.

As it turned out, there was tea. Kota came in with me and found it easily enough with a small, satisfied smile. As she filled her cup with hot water, I paused getting my coffee to watch.

 _I’ll buy you all the tea you want_ , I thought distractedly. _I’ll get you tea anywhere, all you have to do is ask._

Silence fell between us as we nursed our hot drinks, I intending to wake up a little more before driving again. With alertness came my shields again, but only if I needed them. I glanced at Kota out of the corner of my eye. Perhaps they weren’t as necessary anymore. _Shields aren’t necessary when it comes to the other half of your soul._

Or maybe the coffee wasn’t helping. _Other half of my soul... Kota is making me hopeless even when I have coffee._

“I want to sell it.”

“What?” I looked back over to Kota who was staring fixedly into the woods in front of us.

“The ring. I don’t want to look at it ever again,” she said, her voice steely. “I might as well sell it and get something for it.”

“Then we’ll sell it!” I smacked a hand on the steering wheel with zeal. The noise made the brunette jump, but when she looked at me she smiled. “There’s not going to be a trace of that fucker left in your life, baby.”

“Only scars.” Her voice was soft, distant, a part of her seeming to not fully intend the words to come out. I wasn’t sure if she was referring to physical or mental scars, but the jagged mark on her hand came to mind. Without meaning to, my eyes flickered down to where it was, hidden on the other side of her cup. “Yeah… like that one,” Kota replied to the unasked question.

“I didn’t-” I began, but she shook her head.

“It was back a little after I graduated college, just about a year ago. I was at home working on a project for work while he was in the living room taking a nap. When he woke up he said we were going to go do something. I asked him to give me five minutes so I could finish that bit and save it. He got mad, stormed off, and just as I was saving it he came back with a kitchen knife.” Kota looked back out at the trees. “It was the first, and only, time he’d ever done something that left a permanent mark. After that, I think he realized how bad it would be if he got caught doing something like that. I needed surgery.”

“So why did you stay?” I asked, horrified. Kota’s smile was sardonic. I didn’t realize how sad one of her smiles could make me feel.

“It’s like I told you last night,” she said with a shrug. “He’d slip and then he’d be so kind afterward. For weeks, he’d be the best boyfriend in the world. He’d buy me things, take me places… I always managed to convince myself that he’d changed, or worse, that I deserved whatever he'd done.”

“Oh, gods.” I set my coffee down and slid over. Kota was composed, detached even. Still, when I opened my arms, she clung to me. “You know you never deserved that, right?”

“Sort of.” She shook her head against my chest. “It’s… I don’t know. There were some days that I really pushed him, even though I knew he’d-”

“None of it,” I insisted, trying to keep the harshness out of my voice. “Gods, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s over now.” Her voice was like iron again. “I don’t want anything tying me to him anymore, especially his _fucking ring_.”

“Then we’ll sell it. We’ll sell it, and there’s going to be nothing left of him. Gods, Kota… I’m just… I’m so glad you’re here now. That you’re safe.”

“With you,” she added into my chest. “Here with _you_.”

Because in the end, that’s what it came down to, didn’t it? When the shields were down and we were together, it was so easy to see how we bled into each other. There were no walls that divided us into separate entities. We simply were.

It was how we were meant to be.

“And…” Kota added after a minute. “You know what’s funny? I could tell you were someone I might be able to trust, even back in the Walmart parking lot the other day.”

“What?” I couldn’t stop the amused smile that grew. “How so?”

“You… were considerate. Even though… Even though I was, like… annoyed with you, you were so… nice? And when you gave me that hug…” She pulled her face away to meet my eyes. “It felt so different than when he would hug me. It… didn’t feel like you were trying to keep me. You know what I mean?”

I thought back to that first night, wrapping my arms around Kota that first time. That moment, when she had accepted the embrace, and the world seemed to click into place.

She moved a hand to rest on my bicep. “Your arms,” she said softly, “are safe.”

“Then I’ll hold you forever,” I replied, tightening my grip around her. “If that’s what you want.”

That nagging voice in my brain, the one that kept squawking at me whenever I thought of permanent words like forever and always, was being smothered more and more each day. I was long past thinking I was crazy. Reality had never been so right.

“I’d like that.” Kota set her head back down on my shoulder. “I’d like that a lot.”

\-----

When I finally checked the weather app, I was dismayed to see that it would be overcast and drizzly by the time we made it a few states over. Due to that, I decided to make the day’s drive a bit more leisurely.

“Let’s do a ghost tour!” I announced during a periodic stop for gas. 

Kota raised her eyebrows. “Say what?”

“There’s a pretty cool town about an hour out of our way called Whillesden. They’ve got ghost tours _and_ haunted houses!” I had pulled up a list of attractions on my phone and was scrolling through them. “They’ve also got a gigantic antique store.”

“I didn’t take you for someone was interested in antiques.” Kota leaned against the truck beside me, I didn’t waste a beat before sliding an arm around her waist.

“Are you kidding? It’s the best way to kill time. And it’s one of the best ways to learn about a place! Antique stores and Goodwills, anyway.”

“Goodwills?”

“Yeah! Like, Goodwills in college towns are full of those free t-shirts you get at school events or old club t-shirts, and in Bible Belt states they’re full of- oh! Hold on.” I released her when the tank stopped filling with gas.

“And antique stores are the same way?”

“Yeah! Abby’s the one who really goes crazy in antique stores, though. She found this giant mount of a bear head on one road trip and she damn near managed to fit it in the truck bed!” I chuckled at the memory. “She whined for days when I wouldn’t let her get it. Not that she had the money for it! Who knew bear heads were so expensive?”

Kota was easy to sell on the idea of visiting Whillesden. I even suggested that maybe we could sell Trystan’s ring there. I, though, was more excited about the prospect of a ghost tour. There was a bed and breakfast that was supposedly haunted and they did daily tours.

“‘To this day, it’s still a mystery why Zachary Graham killed his father, but some say you can still hear Jeremiah Graham pleading for mercy,’” Kota read aloud from the website’s description. Her mouth twitched in amusement. “Oh, this is cool, some guests sent in _ghost pictures_.”

“I wanna see!”

“You can’t even really see anything.” She squinted at the picture. “There’s something cloudy in this one, but it just looks like smoke.”

“No floating heads or anything?”

“Only one, but it looks photoshopped.” She tapped the phone a few more times. “Oh, they have a little gift shop.”

“I’m gonna get-”

“No.”

By the time we pulled into Whillesden, both of our stomachs were rumbling. Breakfast in the forest seemed so long ago, and I had run out of Gold Fish earlier that morning.

“Whatcha in the mood for?” I asked cheerfully. I was hopeful that since Kota had asked for something this morning that she might be more forthcoming about meal choices now, but the other woman shrugged.

“I don’t care.”

“You’ve gotta have some kind of preference! We’re going to end up eating Mcdonald’s again if you don’t pick,” I threatened, and she wrinkled her nose. “Check Yelp. Pick something.”

She gave me a wary look but pulled out the phone. She was silent for a long moment, reading over the various options Whillesden offered. I waited.

“Do… Do _you_ have a preference?” she finally asked.

“Nope,” I replied, my voice light. At a quick glance, I saw her brows had furrowed deeply, her jaw clenched.

“Are you sure?” She drummed her fingers on the door as I pulled into a corner store parking lot. Without a destination, there was no point in continuing to drive. Kota shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You’ve got to want _something_ , right?”

“What do _you_ want?” I pressed. She didn’t respond for another minute.

“I’m not… used to picking the place to eat,” she admitted after a bit. “I don’t really know what I want.”

I nodded, unsurprised. Kota had been adapting well to being free from Trystan, but it was in subtle ways like this that showed that he still had a hold on her. I held out a hand for my phone which she wordlessly handed over.

“There’s a pizza place. Sushi. Sandwiches,” I read, trying to keep each suggestion as neutral as I could make it. “Chinese. Italian-”

A finger twitched, but Kota said nothing. I raised an eyebrow.

“Do any of those sound good?” I asked, knowing there were still more choices I could have read, but I suspected I had found the winner already.

“I… they all sound good,” she replied with a shrug. I suppressed the urge to sigh.

“Seriously, I’m good with all of those choices, as long as I can shove something into my mouth.” I winked at her, causing her to break into a somewhat timid smile. “I’m not picky.”

“Right. You did somehow eat those dough monstrosities last night.” She blinked, bemused, and I snorted.

“Look, if you pick somewhere, I’ll play you another song tonight,” I offered.

“That seems like two rewards for very little effort on my part.”

“Reward?” I didn’t see how picking a place to eat was much of a reward. “Oh, believe me, you’ve done plenty.” I placed a hand on her waist, then gave her the most reassuring smile I could make. Kota looked at me for a minute, hesitant. Then-

“Italian, I guess? If it’s not too expensive for you?”

“I love Italian.” I leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”

The brunette blushed, but I started up the truck again. There was a decent Italian place not too far from where we were so I plugged it into the GPS.

The meal itself was much less complicated than the act of choosing it. Kota seemed more at ease with placing her order once the place was chosen. _It’s rather cute_ , I thought, _how excited she seems to be._ Her brown eyes were so bright and a smile tugged at her lips as she looked over the menu. I almost said something about her sudden cheerfulness but decided against it. I didn’t want to risk losing that smile.

\-----

The ghost tour was a lot less exciting than I had thought it would be. I found myself yawning as the tour guide led our small group through the rooms, pointing out old photographs and telling the tragic tale of the Grahams.

“I thought they’d at least have the murder weapon here,” I muttered into Kota’s ear. The smaller woman couldn’t suppress a small giggle.

“But that’s the point, nobody knows what Zackary used on his dad.”

“How’re they supposed to reenact the murder, then?”

“I don’t think they do.”

“I need a refund.”

Rather than request a refund, I bought two t-shirts, a few postcards, and a keychain. Kota tried to convince me that none of it was necessary, seeing as the entire tour was a waste of time in the first place, but I could not be dissuaded.

“This one’s for you!” I said with a grin, tossing a shirt to her. “We can match!”

“Em,” she began to protest, but I shook my head.

“No ‘buts’! You need more clothes.”

“Yeah, but these are really overpriced and I’ll have plenty when we get to Dallas.”

“And they commemorate the very first ghost tour we went on as a couple!” I waved my own dramatically and Kota sighed, unable to hide the twitch in the corners of her mouth.

“So there’s going to be more of these?” she asked.

“A bunch!”

We’d hardly left the building before I had pulled up a list of other ghost tours. Unfortunately, there weren’t any other tours that day, as it was a weekday, so I proceeded to bitch about it as I managed to thread my new keychain onto one of the keyrings. Kota only half listened, seemingly impressed that I was somehow able to squeeze the keychain on. It was a tight fit but it blended in with the others right away.

“And that big haunted house isn’t even open today!” I whined. “That was what I really wanted to see!”

“Then you should have looked at the hours a little more closely,” Kota replied, rolling her eyes.

“I thought you would have told me something about it.”

“Like I could keep track of every place you had me Google.”

I looked up the address of the antique store. It was on the outskirts of town, so the drive wasn’t terribly long. Kota looked over the brochures she’d taken from the bed and breakfast, reading over them with a raised eyebrow.

“Gods, did you even see how expensive it is to rent one of those haunted rooms?” she muttered. “The prices people will pay to try to catch a thrill.”

“Well, if people are willing to pay, maybe the owners are smart to exploit that.” I grinned into the rearview mirror as I caught another of Kota’s eye rolls. Who knew she was capable of so many within such a short span of time?

“They did exploit us, you know,” she pointed out, to which I shrugged.

“At least I didn’t go in there expecting anything. I knew perfectly well I was being ripped off, thank you very much.”

\-----

The antique store was less a store and more of a compound, with a barn as the central building with extensions and trailers sprawling out in different directions. I gaped, craning my neck to try and see if I could figure out where the entrance was.

“This place is huge!” I leaped out of the truck and pushed my shades up. “The billboards weren’t kidding when they said this was the largest antique outlet for… what? Five hundred miles, right?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Kota scanned the buildings, then pointed. “I think that’s the entrance.”

The little shed like structure attached to the barn had a set of double doors and a bell rung when we opened them. There wasn’t a soul in sight, which I counted as a blessing. Here in the south, some shopkeepers could be a little too friendly. But this was completely silent.

“It smells kind of funny,” Kota remarked, looking at the cramped aisles of junk. 

I shrugged. “Pretty normal for these kinds of places. This looks more like a flea market.” 

As we walked down the first aisle, I could see how different sections had been organized into stalls, presumably belonging to different people. Some were very neat, with old knick knacks arranged in charming ways. Musty, elaborate hats were arranged on model heads or on coat racks. Other stalls were arranged more haphazardly, ancient dolls and teddy bears thrown into a box on the floor, dressers covered in trinkets, old jewelry scattered in a disorganized fashion.

“Books,” Kota breathed. The tall bookshelf was angled awkwardly in its assigned area, and she scanned the titles. A slow grimace spread across her features. “It’s only cookbooks,” she said, disappointed. “How can there be so many cookbooks? Isn’t every cookbook, like… the _same_?”

“Oh, honey. I guess I’m going to be in charge of the cooking, huh?” I said, laughing.

There wasn’t any clear direction to go so we found ourselves entering the barn. It was packed with even more odds and ends.

“Oh, gross. Now that’s a doll that’s seen some shit,” I said, pointing at a sad looking doll with two messy braids, a dirt smugged face, and a haunted look in its eyes. 

“Maybe it’s a Chuckie prototype?” Kota asked with a cringe.

I shook my head, pointing at a few boxes in the same stall. “Ugh, no, I think it’s probably scarred for life, being forced to look at the dismembered limbs of its brethren.” Each box was full to the brim with doll parts, a box for legs, another for arms, another for bodies, another with bald heads. I made a gagging sound. “Like, respect to people who make dolls, but this is a little fucked up.”

Kota touched the creepy doll with a hesitant hand, then turned the sad head to look in the opposite direction. I raised an eyebrow, which she returned with a shrug.

“Just so the doll doesn’t have to keep looking at that.”

“You’re too fucking cute,” I replied, grinning causing her to blush.

It was in the barn that we ran across the first staff member. A green haired girl pushed a small cart ahead of her, filled with odds and ends. When she spotted us, she looked up with a bland smile.

“Anything I can help you with?” she asked. I started to shake my head but stopped when Kota nodded.

“I… I was wondering. I’ve got a ring that I’ve been wanting to sell. Is it possible to sell it here?”

The woman cocked her head. “Well, usually we let out stalls for people to sell things. Is it just the one ring?”

“Yeah. We’re just passing through, so I can’t rent anything, but-”

“Let me get Maria to take a look at it. She’s pretty flexible.” The woman smiled pleasantly. “She’s also the one who knows jewelry, so if she is able to take it, she could come up with a price.”

“Great. Thank you.” Kota smiled, relieved. I took her hand in my own, then squeezed reassuringly. As the green haired woman walked away, she leaned close into me to whisper, “It’d be wonderful if I could get rid of it today.”

“If not here, then somewhere else,” I assured her, meeting her eyes. 

The look she gave me was almost enough to make me melt. I moved just slightly closer, enough for me to meet her lips with my own. Her religious application of chapstick was making her lips so much softer than they had been in those first few days. I could taste the cherry as my tongue slid across her lower lip.

But the barn was stuffy, so we pulled away before we worked up too much of a sweat. I found a fan in one stall that was full of old VHS tapes and ceramic mugs, and I planted myself in front of it while Kota perused another bookshelf.

“Oh! The Westing Game,” she read aloud, taking the book from the shelf. It was a battered old paperback and she thumbed through the yellowed pages. “I read this in high school. It’s really good.”

“Then get it.” I moved away from the fan to set a hand in the small of her back. “It’d keep you occupied during the long ride.”

“Oh, uh… I don’t know. I can always get them later,” Kota replied, smiling, looking back up at me. “Besides… I don’t want to, like… whisk away to another world. I’m enjoying my time in this world. With you.”

Heat raced to my cheeks, but I returned the smile anyway. “I’m glad. Because I’m enjoying my time with you.” I planted a kiss in brown hair, then wrapped an arm around her.

“One of you has something for me to look at?” a voice asked, amused. Startled, we swung around.

The woman before us was short, much shorter than either of us. She had a slight stoop, so I supposed her height had more to do with age than anything else. Her wrinkled skin had a weathered look to it and her eyes were nearly impossible to see through such thick glasses. I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this old woman. I raised my eyebrows, as Kota nodded.

“You must be… Maria?” she asked.

“That’s me,” the woman replied cheerfully, leaning on her cane. “What can I do for you today?”

“I… Well, we’re just passing through, so I can’t exactly rent one of your spaces, but I’ve been wanting to get this ring off my hands.” Kota glanced at me and I pulled the ring out of my pocket, handing it to Maria.

Wordlessly, Maria took it, holding it almost flush against her thick lenses. After a moment, she lowered the ring to her mouth and breathed on it. She tilted her head, considering for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’m afraid it’s not a real diamond,” she said, not unkindly. I could see a bloom of color spread across Kota’s cheeks. “I’m sorry if it’s a shock, but this sort of situation happens more often than you might think. Was this an engagement ring?”

Now it was Kota’s turn for silence. She nodded slowly.

“You know, I really hate people who dupe their partner about this sort of thing,” Maria tutted, handing the ring back to me. “There are so many lovely alternatives to diamonds these days, and it’s shameful that some people still think they can lie about it. If it was a real diamond, I’d buy it without having to go through the trouble of renting out a stall, but as it is? We’ve got plenty of cubic zirconia already. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kota muttered, looking away. “Throwing it off a cliff might be more satisfying, anyway. Thank you.”

She turned on her heel too quickly, almost rudely, to find a new bookshelf down the long aisle. I winced.

“Bad relationship?” Maria asked softly. 

I nodded. “I shouldn’t really be surprised the diamond was a fake.” I shook my head, then rubbed at my neck. “Her ex was a dick. Maybe we’ll throw the ring into the ocean or something. That’d be fitting.”

“I’ve had a few friends in… unpleasant relationships,” Maria said, watching Kota peer at a new book. “I can kind of see those mannerisms in her now that I look for them.”

“Really?” I frowned, unsure of where Maria was going with this.

“Or maybe I’m just old and I’m imagining things.” The old woman smiled. “Why, I had a friend, Dolores, who managed to get out of an abusive relationship by pushing her husband down a well.”

I laughed. “Oh, no, that’s from a book. Stephen King, right?”

“Oh, is it?” Maria flashed her a mischievous smile. “As I said, I’m old. And some books do feel like old friends.”

We both watched as Kota replaced the book on the shelf and pull out a different one.

“Her ex would’ve been a good candidate to shove down a well,” I said in a low voice. “Because of him, she’s…” I let out a groan that was almost a growl. “He’s just an ass.”

Normally, I would have held in my curse words around the elderly, but something about this woman’s manner seemed so easy. Maria tilted her head, then nodded thoughtfully, unphased by the vocabulary. I wouldn’t have put it past her to use that language herself.

Maria looked up at me, her smile back in place. “She’s doing quite well, considering. So many women come out of relationships like that not knowing what to do with themselves. But with her, I can see she does have something.”

“Yeah?”

“She’s got someone who cares about her.”

Again, my face reddened. Maria chuckled, apparently seeing the effect of her words.

“I’ll tell you what. Maybe there’s something I can do about that ring. The jewel isn’t worth much, but the setting is nice, so I could probably trade some store credit for it.”

“Look, we’re not after charity or anything-”

I grunted as Maria’s cane gave her a sharp whack on the shin. Grimacing, I bent over to massage the painful spot. “Listen, kid. If it looked like junk, I wouldn’t offer. But it’s pretty enough. Sure, it is junk, but it’s the kind of junk that passes for treasure. That’s probably what her ex intended, right? Something that was cheap but looked expensive.”

“Sounds about right,” I replied straightening. “But you didn’t have to hit me!”

Maria laughed, the sound not unlike the cackle of a fairy tale witch. “It got you to pay attention, didn’t it?”

“I guess,” I grumbled. 

Still, it was worth it as I watched Maria explain the idea of trading for in store credit. By now, Kota had amassed a small stack of books, which she hugged to herself as she nodded furiously.

Kota had protested the idea politely, at first. I was relieved that Maria hadn’t hit her with the cane, too. The old woman had the sense to know it probably would have been a cruel thing to do to Kota, even in jest. As Maria spoke, the brunette’s face lit up. _Maybe it is charity_ _but I not gonna argue it. Not when Kota looks that excited._

The smack to the shin had been worth it if only to see Kota’s face.

“Better than throwing it off a cliff?” I asked in a low voice as she set her books on the check out counter.

“It got me books.” She shrugged but the small grin she wore was all the answer I needed. _Those books_ , I supposed, _are probably the best thing to come out of Kota’s relationship with Trystan._

Though the green haired girl was the one who checked us out, Maria tagged along to the register to explain the arrangements. She was so short that she needed to use a step stool to use the counter, and she tapped her cane against it thoughtfully. My eyes drifted across a nearby bookshelf, filled with mostly horror novels. Her eyes widened at the vast selection of Stephen King books.

“Shit, we’re going to have to get this one,” she said, grabbing Dolores Claiborne from the shelf. “We were just talking about this book!”

“What?” Kota looked over, frowning at the title. Maria grinned.

“Excellent choice. Let me know if you need to push anyone down a well. I know a thing or two about alibis.” She grabbed the book and slipped a bookmark into it. “If you two ever pass through again, come back in and say hello.”

“Thanks,” I said, giving the woman a nod. I couldn’t be sure, but I was sure one of the eyes behind the thick lenses winked at me.

“Okay, what was that about?” Kota asked as we stepped back outside. The gray clouds had already completely blocked out the sun and a light drizzle was starting to fall.

“The old lady and I talked a little bit about Stephen King.” I placed a hand on her back as we darted back to the truck. “Have you read much of his stuff?”

“A little, but not much. Trystan never cared for him. Called him trashy, or something.” Kota opened the door and put the books on the floor of the passenger side, protecting them from the rain. 

“You ought to give this one a try. It’s about a woman who was abused and- well, I won’t spoil it.” Kota quirked an eyebrow at me.

“Just because it’s about an abused woman makes you think I should read it?” she asked dryly.

“N-no! That’s not it!” I stammered. Kota laughed, the sound low in her throat. My throat tightened at the sound as I got into the truck. It was too much of a sexy sound for the topic at hand. “It’s just… It’s pretty a good revenge story.”

She ran a hand through her hair, pushing the slightly damp, dark bangs to the side. “Maybe I’ll read it,” she agreed. She scooted closer to me and suddenly the truck felt much warmer than it should have. “I’m not the kind of person who’s after revenge, though,” she admitted. She smiled, her mouth now very close to mine. “The only kind of story I need is one with a happy ending.”

“Maybe we’ll find one,” I breathed. I felt the exhalations from her laugh on my lips. _Or maybe we already have._

Our lips met, decisively ending the conversation.

\-----

I only drove for a couple more hours before pulling into our hotel for the night. I was quite capable of driving in the rain but it had started to get a little too heavy for my comfort. Kota, too, was being too distracting, not in anything she was doing, but in just existing. She kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eye in a way that nearly sent me off the road on one occasion. Fighting the heat in my stomach and the rain had been too much to ask for.

Rather than a roadside motel, I found a hotel that had a complimentary breakfast buffet, workout facilities, and a swimming pool. I had half a mind to run out somewhere and get Kota a bathing suit, but she had talked me down with a laugh.

“It’s wet enough out here!” she said. “I’m not going to want to be anywhere near a pool.”

“Not even just to model for me?” I teased. I was rewarded with another one of her sultry laughs.

“I don’t need a swimsuit to model for you.” _How can she say something like that sound so innocent?_ I could only grip the steering wheel harder, conceding to the idea that we’d definitely have to pull over soon.

Kota snuggled into my arms under the covers, and I wondered how I could have enjoyed any other person. I traced the dip of her waist with my fingers, wishing I could find the words to describe the comfort I took in the touch.

“You feel so nice,” Kota murmured, her breath hot and sending goosebumps racing across my skin as she toyed with the fabric of my shirt.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” I kissed her head. “You excited to see the ocean tomorrow?”

“I can’t wait,” she said. “Even though I know what ocean looks like.”

“So do I, y’know.” It was hard to focus as she wriggled closer into me. She slid a leg over mine as if our bodies could snap together like a puzzle. “Miami is right on the ocean. But I’m still excited to see it.”

A lazy silence followed my words. I felt and heard Kota’s yawn. Even though we hadn’t traveled too far that day, we’d kept pretty busy, so I couldn’t blame her sleepiness.

“You said you’d sing another song,” Kota said at last. “Remember? From when I picked lunch?”

I groaned. “The guitar’s out in the truck. Do you really want me to get up, go back out to the truck, bring the guitar in, and-”

“Don’t be stupid.” She poked my stomach and I let out a shrill sound that had us both laughing. “No, I’m too comfortable to let you go. No, you can just sing. You don’t need the guitar.”

“I thought I sounded like a… what did you say the other day? A dying elephant?”

“Only when you sang American Idiot. You sounded… nice when you sang yesterday.” I felt my cheeks redden, and I was glad she couldn’t see the blush. As much as I enjoyed singing, I wasn’t used to compliments.

“What do you want me to sing?”

“I dunno. You pick.”

Without the crutch of my guitar or the radio, singing aloud made me nervous. I took comfort in Kota’s warmth and the steady rhythm of her breathing. Even if I couldn’t sing very well, there was security in the woman in my arms. She wasn’t expecting a professional performance. She just wanted to hear my voice.

“She grew up with the children of the stars,” I began, and I felt Kota’s breathing quicken. Recognition? “In the Hollywood hills and the boulevards.”

“I know this one,” Kota interrupted, pleasure in her sleepy tone. I chuckled a little before continuing the song. I was amused when she started humming along. Perhaps another day, when we were more awake, we could try singing it together with the guitar.

“Everything's gonna be all right,” I crooned. Kota had ceased her humming, and her breathing came more slowly. “Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye.”

I paused to stroke her hair, only then realizing that she’d fallen asleep. I smiled, kissed the top of her head, and closed my own eyes, humming the last words of the song to myself in sleepy staccatos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Lullaby - Shawn Mullins


End file.
